Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Pet Peeves

I made some mention in my last post about "things that people say/do that annoy me". Well, I've got a list. It's really a short list, but it's things that people say or do to me or Boo that really just drive me up the wall.
(I don't have a fussy picture of Boo handy, so you get this one instead...)
First off, please, please please don't talk baby-talk to my son. He may not know what the words mean that you're saying, but he's learning to recognize English and the sounds of the language. Also, he's a living, breathing, thinking human being. Using a sing-song voice with happy sounding tones is one thing, but please, let's try to use real words and "normal" grammar. This has been one of my pet peeves for a very long time. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my parents always talked to me and my brother like reasonable, understanding people. And, wow, we were! I think this might be the biggest gripe.
Secondly, don't say you support the fact that I am breast feeding my son, and then when he cries because he's hungry say in an almost condescending tone "If he had a bottle, I'd have fed him..." I enjoy breast feeding. I'm very, very lucky in the fact that there have been very few issues with feeding and only very minimal soreness on my part at first. About the only time I wish Boo was a bottle fed baby is on those rare nights when he wakes up every hour wanting a "snack". That and when we're in a crowded place where I can't get enough privacy to get Boo to latch on. (Once he's feeding, there really isn't anything to see or offend anyone...) Yes, I will be pumping once I get back to work. No, I haven't started yet. About 99% of the advice I've heard and read is to wait until he's 4 weeks old or so before introducing a bottle, to ensure that he'll still take the breast (which is apparently better for keeping up supply than just exclusive pumping). Like I said, I enjoy my time feeding my boy. It's quiet alone time for us and I won't get a lot of that once I'm back to work. Don't worry, within the next week or two we'll be introducing bottles. I just hope it isn't an epic struggle since he won't take a pacifier... (But then again, a bottle has food, a pacifier is just stupid rubber or silicone... who wants that?)
I will pick up my son whenever and as often as I want or he fusses. Yes, other people can hold him, I encourage it actually. No, there is no way that holding Boo as often as he's held will spoil him in any way, shape or form. If anything, he can't be held enough from his point of view. I mean, it was only a few very short weeks ago that he was all snug in my belly being held and rocked all the time. There have actually been studies on this with monkeys. I remember reading/seeing information about one in my sociology class in college. They took two baby monkeys and gave one all the attention it wanted and soft surroundings and the other was in a hard empty cage. Both had free access to milk. The one in the soft, cuddly surroundings thrived, the one in the hard cage with no interaction got very sick, very quickly. Yes, I know, that was monkeys and Boo's a human. You can't tell me that snuggling him and showing him he's loved will spoil him at this age. What spoils children is giving into their every whim and not holding them accountable once they have some understanding of right/wrong and what's appropriate or not. At 3 weeks old, he has no concept of any of this, but does feel and understand the love of being held, snuggled and rocked. To me, this means he'll actually be better adjusted as he gets older, he knows his needs will be taken care of and where he's "safe".
And for those who never had to leave their kids to go back to work, please, please don't tell me how hard it's going to be in August. The thought of leaving Boo for 8 or 9 hours a day (including travel time) really hurts like hell. Every time I look at that sweet little face of his it hits me that all too soon, I have to "leave" him. It just kills me. I don't need to be reminded of it by other people, I can't escape it myself. If anyone who knows me, thinks that I'd leave my boy to work full time if I had a choice, doesn't actually know me. If we could survive on just one income, either Gak or I would be home with Boo full time.
And one, last, minor gripe. Yes, he's very young. No, I'm not "brave" to take him out to the store or whatever, I need to get out and see the world and most of the time, he's got to come with me... (Besides, being exposed to the world is probably good for his immune system...)
Ok. I think that's most of my gripes about people and my son.
I'm going to wrap this up.
Peace to all and may people be good to you.


Chelsea said...

Wow, people are really horrible enough to rub it in, that you'll be sad when you have to go back to work? What jerks. :( I wouldn't be able to help snapping at them, I'm sure I'd feel like either they thought I was stupid enough not to know that already, or they were deliberately picking on me -- they're just jealous that they don't have a cuddly new baby of their own. ;)

Addey said...

I think they do it more out of ignorance of how much it hurts or just simple thoughtlessness. Some people (like Gak's boss' wife) don't want to be stay-at-home mom's. They actually look forward to going back to work, even though they love their children very much. What kills the most are comments like: "I could never go back to work..." or "You only have 10 weeks, that can't be enough time..." Tell me something I didn't know!