Sunday, January 17, 2016

January is Hard

You'd think I'd learn.  You'd think I'd learn to keep my big mouth shut and just not argue with people who have already had their minds made up by someone else.  Especially when it's a very closed-minded opinion.  And the argument will boil down to "he said" "she said".

No, I'm not going to go into details.  Suffice to say all of their "proof" comes from religious based websites/groups and my "proof" comes from the site of the organization they're against.

And, if you know me, you know how much faith (lol) I put into religious organizations.  And how much of a far-left, bleeding-heart, tree-hugging hippy liberal I am.  (I do try and put on the reality filter, I do... but... my heart and what "reality" dictates are often quite different...)  So, while I may not have "proof" this person will listen to, I also have first hand knowledge.  (Which isn't good enough for her, yet someone else's first hand account is...)

So, yeah.  I fed a troll.  A troll who is someone in my extended "family", so sooner or later I'll have to deal with them face to face.  Oh well.  There's only so long I can bite my tongue and ignore things.

On the flip side, January is just being crazy busy and wearying.  Nothing too big or major, just lots and lots of little things and general business that takes it's toll.

Not-so-good things: crazy busy at work, cracked windshield on the LRH, I need new hiking boots, my phone borked (but was covered by insurance...), and my Missfit Flash seems to have randomly died on me.  Oh, and the roof at Gak's work is leaking and we're both crazy busy.

Good things: We spent today visiting with Amma and going to the Lego Store and having lunch together.  Boo-boy wanted a pick your own bucket of bricks, so we arranged this little trip.  Also, Boo-boy is reading.  As in really, really reading.  We had arguments and frustration and tears about reading before Christmas, but now, he's reading.  I'm just gonna go with it.  We, now, think the frustration at least partially boiled down to finding a book that was interesting and not super easy.  That and the fact that Daddy and Momma wanted him to read, so therefore he wasn't gonna. /eyeroll.

So, I'm now thinking that while he may have some challenges to the actual reading thing, and spelling is a family challenge, he's not really any more challenged then your typical 7-year-old.  Of course, this will change seven times in the rest of the school year.  Or maybe not, since we're really on a reading track now...

So, I think I'll just wrap this chaotic post up here.  Overall, other than books, trolls, and cookie season, nothing too exciting is happening around here.

Peace to all and may your trolls be few and your books be many.

Tuesday, January 05, 2016


Boo and his reading continue to baffle me.
A little background; I was reading by age 4 and reading Nancy Drew by age 6.  Boo has been stubborn about learning anything new and will do things on his own time thanks.  He has also recently become totally infatuated with Minecraft.  Asking the boy to read is like telling him you're going to run over Trey.  He can't or won't explain the problem.

For Christmas one of the books I bought Boo was a book called Diary of a Minecraft Zombie.  It is similar to Diary of a Wimpy Kid.  All the chapters were one or two pages and it was a hoot.  He devoured it in only a few hours.  He asked for the next one, so, of corse I ordered it. My boy was reading.  Voluntarily. He asked for a book. 

Well, it came today.  The evening was already a bit rocky because this week's spelling list is hard.  Ea  and ee vowel combos.  And after seeing where he stood with the list, I told him to do one of the practice exercises.  And nearly made him cry when I asked if this week was a tough list.  And asked what needed to be done about it.  Anyhow, after dinner and after he finished his spelling exercise, I gave him the books I ordered. 
He was all "meh" about it.
I tried not to be hurt.  It didn't quite work (see above, bookworm since age 4 or 5....).
Anyhow, week nights are reading nigjts, at least 10 minutes.  I told him he could start one of the books I got him, but I'd like it if he'd read a chapter out loud to me.  Again, icy resistance.  But, he got through a chapter.  This one was actually 4 or 5 pages, not 2.  Then he didn't want to read more, but he really needed to.  He managed another 5 or so before I told him he could be done.

So, yeah.  He confuses me.  When he doesn't think about it or it isn't required, he reads quite well.  When it, or anything really, becomes a "have to", it is worse than pulling teeth.  Sure, I used to balk a lot at room cleaning and stupid homework, but over all, I think I did most things when asked.  I didn't come almost to tears the moment someone said "you have to...".  I just don't know.  I worry.  I have talked some with his teacher.  She doesn't see many of these struggles in school.  But she has given good advice for home.  I just wish I could see into that brain of his and see what's what.  And throttle my own frustrations and expectations.  I have no idea what normal looks like and I just don't understand.  Knowing I don't understand only makes it worse, not better.

Anyhow, that's what is eating at me at the moment.  That and rude loud neighbors that keep invading my space with their noise.... but that is a different story.

Saturday, January 02, 2016

30 Years

Today is a strange day.  Today marks 30 years since my family moved into our house here in PA.

Most years, I don't even think about this date.  But, all day today it has been rattling G around in my head.  30.  Thirty.  Thirty years that my parents have lived in their house.  There were problems since day one with it.  And there still are.  My mom hates the house, but can't move right now for a number of reasons.  I wish they had been able to move back in 2000 like they talked about.  But, it just wasn't going to work.

Anyhow, thirty years is a long time.  It is 3/4 of my life to date.  It is as long, or longer, than many of my coworkers have been alive.

There have been many ups and downs along the way.  I'm still not sure I'm really a Pennsylvanian.  I still feel out of place here.  But I'm not sure I could really go back to KS or OK or MO either.  It still astonished me when a client notices I don't truly sound like I'm from PA.  Yet, I don't sound like I'm from Kansas either.

All I know is that moving here involved a lot of pain.  It felt doomed from the moment Dad picked me up early the last day of school before winter break and that it was sleeting when they were loading up the moving van.   It meant changing schools twice in the same school year.  It meant going from a world I knew and fit into, where I had good friends and good relationships with most of the people I knew, to a totally alien world where I was tormented and ostracized almost from day 1.  The first 6 years were very hard and involved lots of tears.  Then it got easier.  Then I thought I mostly fit in by the time I was in college.  But I don't really.  I love my friends dearly, but in some ways we are so very, very different.  And it is bothersome.  But, it is ok.

There have been many wonderful times as well as pain.  Many amazing summer days at camp or the nature center.  Many fun trips and explorations.  Many an evening hanging out with friends around a campfire and just enjoying the company.

So, overall I think the positive does win, but not by a huge margin.  I'm still carrying a lot of hurt from the first almost decade here.  Those wounds are deep.  And the wounds of a 10-year-old don't heal fully.

I'm not sure where I was going with this, other than to be amazed that it has been 30 years that I've called this state home.  Well  except the 10 months I spent in OK.  And that was its own adventure....

Peace to all and may the adventures in the coming year be amazing.