Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Uh.... Where did the week go? I swear, it was just Monday yesterday, right? Right??
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Well, I won’t say today is going well. I won’t say that yesterday wasn’t productive. I will say that I’m frustrated and upset and angry and all kinds of other negative emotions. I’m having a very hard time responding to everything that’s going on in a rational, detached way. I’ve gotten some help from some friends, but in general, it all comes down to me. I’ve got to actually respond to things in a professional and adult manner. I can’t go throwing temper tantrums because life isn’t going my way. Life won’t go your way all the time.
I think what bothers me the most is the suddenness of this. There really wasn’t any “we’re going to have to ask you to start traveling again in a month or two, which is before your son’s first birthday”. There was no, “we think the training is beginning to suffer, what can we do to help make it better”. Nope, none of that. Just WAHM “You must travel NOW! The training is a disaster and it’s all your fault! You’re not doing your job and how dare you attempt to put your family first!”
It does turn out I do have at least a bit of a legal leg to stand on. Back in 1998 Congress passed something that essentially says an employer can’t do anything to discourage breast feeding before the baby turns 1. (New Mothers' Breastfeeding Promotion and Protection Act of 1998 (Introduced in House) ) In reality, I haven’t asked for everything that the law allows me. I didn’t demand a place specifically just for me to pump. I admit, I did ask, but after getting an embarrassed stammering from the business leader, I didn’t push the issue and resolved to take care of it myself. I’ve been working through most of my lunch to offset the time I spend pumping. I haven’t even been storing milk in the fridge and forcing people to see it or even know I’ve been pumping. I keep everything in a discreet little lunch bag. (Of course, part of this is due to the fact if I put things in the fridge, I’d more than likely forget to take it home…) I haven’t even complained that where I pump I have to have a battery operated one because there is no power outlet. I’m trying not to make this a burden on anyone but myself.
I just have to figure out a way to respond thoughtfully, intelligently and stand my ground, but not be forceful or belligerent. I’m not sure I know how to do that.
This post has been languishing in unfinished form long enough. Maybe I’ll get my thoughts together enough to make sense tomorrow.
In other, happy news, Boo managed to not only figure out how to pick up and eat some little puff cereal treat thingies last night, but manage to pull himself to stand by grabbing Gak’s hands. Yes, I’m impressed. Yes, there are new pictures on the Flickr, but since I’m at work and the originals are at home… no post picture.
Peace to all and may your work life not suck.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I try and stay out of world events as much as possible around here. It’s not that I don’t listen to the news or anything like that. I just think that, for the most part, my opinions on certain events are my own and really don’t mean much to anyone else.
But, I have to say something about one recent news item.
That would be the woman who just had 8 more babies when she already had 6.
First off, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!?
Ok. Now that I’ve got that off my chest, let me be a little more rational.
I’ve had a hard time with this. It has made me examine some thoughts and beliefs in some slightly uncomfortable ways. Of course, it is all colored by the fact that I am a fairly new mom myself.
The first thought I had to wrestle with was why would anyone be able to have that many children. I had to seriously think about this. I had to think about what right do I have to tell anyone how big or small a family to have? This, of course, brought me to the whole abortion issue. I am pro choice by nature. Again, who am I to tell someone what she can or cannot do with their bodies. (I did not say pro abortion. I’m just very, very, very glad I never had to face that choice myself. I honestly don’t know what I would have chosen, but I’m glad I would have been able to make a choice…) So, if I’m allowing someone to decide not to bring a life into the world, who am I to not allow someone to choose to bring a life into the world?
See, confusing, isn’t it?
But then, I moved beyond all of that. I will gladly tell you that this whole situation bothers me. And I think I know why. Not because someone chose to have 14 children. Not even that a single woman went through fertility treatments in order to have a child. No, what bothers me is the lack of thought that went into the whole deal, the lack of responsibility and foresight that this woman has. This woman is the same age as I am. She’s not married, nor in any stable relationship. (Again, not a deal breaker, but coming from a new mom of 1, a definite help.) She’s living with her parents. She has no job. According to a snippet of the interview she gave the other day, she’s going to school and will be able to provide for them in the future.
My question is, what about now? How can you provide for the emotional needs, let alone physical needs of so many children without help? It takes two of us to meet the needs of Boo. As well as Gramma Sue, a nice day care and a whole lot of friends and family.
I can’t condemn her for wanting a large family. Large families can be a good thing if everyone is involved. I can question her reasons. (Apparently, she grew up an only child and always felt alone… Ok… I still don’t get it…) I can question her motives. To me, they seem purely selfish and did not think one bit about the wellbeing of the children; these tiny human beings who depend on her for everything.
I can question the doctors. But only to a point. Like I said, if I can’t tell someone they must bring a life into the world, who am I to tell them not to? I do think, and hope, the doctors warned her about what could happen and tried to make sure she was informed. I do have to wonder, however, how she was able to pay for the fertility treatments (which a lot of insurance won’t cover, but that’s a whole different kettle of fish) if she’s been on food stamps for the last 18 months? And did you realize you could get disability for ADHD? Apparently in CA you can. I also wonder about the responsibility of the doctors involved, I know that there are guidelines about this sort of thing. The guidelines state that only 1 or 2 should be implanted. (Also, it’s been rumored that only implanting 2 has a better success rate than 3…) I don’t even want to think about the whole “selective reduction” thing or whatever you want to call it. (I’m so glad not to have had these problems…)
I just don’t understand. And in some ways, I hope I never do. I feel for the little babies, not just the 8 newborns, but all 14. I hope they grow up happy, loved and well adjusted. I just don’t have that much hope.
Anyhow, I just thought I’d finally put my thoughts on “paper”. It’s still buzzing around in my head and making my heart ache for the littles involved. I know that this isn’t a fully formed thought and is probably pretty confusing to read. Well, it’s a confusing issue.
Peace to all and may life make a little sense now and then.