Thursday, May 31, 2007
I really don't mind working at this site, I was here earlier in May and the people are nice and friendly. What I do mind, however, is the fact that there is a 7-7:30 or so bus curfew where you can't drive. This site has almost no real parking and about a bajilion (yes, that many) employees. Therefore, the company hired lots of buses to pick up people and drop them off, all at regularly scheduled times. During those times, no one else can (or is supposed to at any rate) drive on site. This is problematic when someone needs to pick me up at the guard building a couple of miles from the office where I'm supposed to be. I swear, it's a good 5 or 10 minute drive from the office to the entrance, and the office is somewhat close to the front. This means I woke up at 5am Mountain time (I keep trying to tell my body it's still on Eastern time so it was only 7 and should be OK, but it didn't believe me...) so I could make it there on time. Oh, yeah, it's about a 30-40 km drive to the site from where I'm staying and everyone in town is headed that direction since that's where all the employment is. Ugh. I wrapped up around 5pm and it was just about 6 when I got to where I was going to have dinner. It's now almost 9pm (and still bright out, but I forgot to pick up batteries again today) and I just wrapped up going through the email. There were a few semi-urgent things that wouldn't wait until Monday, but not bad overall. I'm tired.
But tomorrow is good, I'll be heading home. It's going to be about another 10 hour travel day, but I'm headed home. And I'll be home for two weeks. (Sorry Chelsea, I had to move my KC trip to the week of July 16th... we've got to try and get together then, I promise!) I'm looking forward to this time at home, and I know Gak is as well.
This weekend is looking low-key again as well. I think we're going to have people over Sunday to play Killer Bunnies, but that's about it. This means I'll be able to do my Saturday routine and have fun on Sunday. I'm just looking forward to being able to slow down for a little bit, and not have quite so much pressure to be going non-stop.
Well, I've got an 8am flight in the morning, which means I need to leave here by about 6:30 or so. I guess I'd better wrap this up and veg in front of the TV and try and get some sleep. Peace to all and may you find some slow times to enjoy after the hectic times.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
I feel betrayed. What's worse, is that it was my own body, not anyone else that betrayed me.
Warning: Girl Stuff Ahead
Some people who read this (I know there are a few) might know Gak and I have been at least attempting to get pregnant. Well, I thought for sure I was this month.
I'd been averaging a cycle of about 30 or 31 days since September when I went off the pill. I know it's a long shot right now with my travel schedule, but I really want to be a mom. And Gak does want to be a dad. When I hit 35 days and no cycle, I began to think we might have managed it this time. I took a test on Monday (day 40). It was negative. Hmm..... I also thought I might be pregnant because of how exhausted I've been, even more than my time zone jumping should account for. That and I'd been vaguely nauseous off and on most of the last two weeks. Well, poking around online I found out that the one I used actually needs a fairly high amount of the hormone to be present to be positive. So, I pick up a more sensitive one Tuesday night. This morning (day 42) the test was still negative. I couldn't figure out why, all the signs pointed that it should be positive. Now I start to worry.
I had an 11 am flight today, so I went to the gym early. Well, when I came home and went to get my shower, I figured out why the test was negative. Hello cycle.
Gak was disappointed. He said he'd finally got his head wrapped around the possibility and was actually beginning to get comfortable with the idea. (Like I said, he wants to be a dad, but reality is scary...) I went into a funk. I really want this. Not because it'll mean I get to stop traveling so much. (That's just an added bonus.) This is something I've wanted for ages. Also, the timing would have been perfect. I mean, I would have been due right before my Gram's 85th birthday. Happy Birthday Gram, you're a great-grandmother now. No one else could have topped that gift. (She's been anxiously awaiting that day since I announced Gak and I were engaged! :P)
OK, I promised myself I wouldn't dwell on this. Like Gak said this morning, there's always next time.
OK, Girl Stuff done
Today has been a looong day. I got up at 7 so I could go workout before packing and heading out. It is now 11:40 EDT when I'm writing this. I'm exhausted and barely conscious, but I wanted to vent a bit about being betrayed by my own body.
My travels here were long but uneventful. The most eventful part was waiting for the guy to get my rental car from the lot to the pickup area. No big deal really.
I know I'm way far north. It is 9:40 pm and it is still light out, as in about a half hour or so at least until sunset. It's a good thing the curtains here are decently dark. Although, I'm not sure it would matter tonight, I'm exhausted. And no, you won't get a picture because my camera batteries died on me. Maybe if I remember/ can pick some up tomorrow.
OK, I'm rambling now and not making much sense. I'm off to crash in front of the TV. I've got to be onsite by 7 am (to miss the bus curfew). I'm not looking forward to that.
Peace to all and may your body treat you right.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Yesterday I was a lazy bum. I slept in a little later than usual. I also didn't go to the gym or do laundry. (I have to tomorrow....) I played on the game for several hours, watched some TV and played some more. On Tuesday a new set of areas were added as well as a new evil Fae race. Everyone else had already started ones, but I was quick to catch up with the time I spent yesterday.
Last night Gak and I actually had a date for the first time in months. We went out to dinner and then went to see the new Pirates movie. Wow! What a romp it was. We both enjoyed it very much. It was a very full movie (and I don't just mean the theater). There was a lot to laugh at and a lot to be on the edge of your seat for. I'm sure I'll see it again, there was just so much to it. If you go, remember to sit all the way through the extremely long credits to watch the extra bit afterwords.
Today was another lazy day. I didn't even get dressed until Gak and I decided to go out for dinner and then the grocery store. We spent most of the day off and on playing our evil Fae. We grouped up with some of our friends this morning for a bit of a frustrating adventure. We had fun overall though.
Right now Gak is watching Serenity; I'm half watching. Tomorrow I have no idea what's going on. I haven't heard from Kat, and I haven't made any plans myself. We'll see. We'll probably just take a walk through the park and see what's going on and maybe have some people over for supper, or not.
Friday wasn't a very eventful day, other than the bit of a delay I had for my first flight and then my second flight. I still got in only an hour late. Not bad for having to go through Chicago. Atlanta can be pretty bad, but for some reason I can handle it better, because it isn't every single time, just most.
Well, I guess I should pay attention to the movie. It is pretty good. I hope everyone has a good memorial day and remembers why it is we have a day off from work. Keep those who have protected us, both in the military and fire/police/EMT careers in your heart and minds. Peace to all.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The trip out here on Tuesday was mostly uneventful. It turned into a 12-hour trek because of a 2.5 hour layover and a delay in boarding. Also, I think we had to go around some weather because my second flight seemed way longer than it should have been. The drive out of Denver was nice. It's been somewhat cool and grey, but I think today will be better.
Yesterday morning I had free to myself. I feel like I wasted it though. I went to the gym and worked out and spent several hours answering email etc. I could have gone somewhere, seen something, but I didn't.
The plant I'm at is still under construction but they seem to be up and running at least a little bit. The people seem pretty nice and friendly. I don't think I bored them too badly yesterday afternoon. Today will be a full day. It should be good. At least the site location is nice.
I did talk to Mom on Tuesday while I was in the airport. (Of course, she calls me right as my lunch arrives, but that's OK.) She had news for me from Gram's doctors appointments. It looks like there may be an alternative to traditional surgery. There's a doctor at the University of MD that has been doing this orthroscopicly. (I can't spell, that's one of many reasons I didn't go pre-med...) Her doctor has referred her to this doctor, but we won't know for a few days if he'll take her. We would have known Monday, but he was at a conference so unavailable. I really hope that this works out. Traditional surgery is major, not just from the recovery standpoint (which we were really worried about) but from the fact that it is a long surgery and Gram just doesn't do well with anesthesia. She gets really loopy and doesn't remember things for days later. I'll keep you posted with what I know.
Well, I've got to check the work email and get my butt in gear for the day. I've got an hour to get out of here.
Peace to all and may your week be going well.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Michelle got here just about 7:30 Friday evening and we had a nice dinner at home. Of course, right as we were about to sit down to dinner my friend Joan calls.
"Do you want to go bowling with me and Ant tonight?"
OK, we'll meet you at 9 because we're about to sit down for dinner.
So, instead of having a lazy evening hanging out or maybe going to see Shrek, we go bowling with Joan and her 6-year-old son. We had a lot of fun. I think I bowled my best game ever. Of course, this could be due to the fact that we had the bumpers up. (Anthony has a great side arm pitch.....) The lane we were on was one of the worst in the place though. You could see this aisle of shiny something running all the way down the middle of the lane. It kept trying to eat our bowling balls and wouldn't reset. I think the guy was getting pretty sick of seeing us, although we were quite amused to watch him flirt shamelessly with Joan. It was a fun evening and it was good to see Joan. Mel (her daughter) wasn't there because she was with her dad's second wife for the weekend. (Yes, this is the same Joan who's ex-husband passed away last month....) I was staying out of that one. It was really great to see Ant. I wish Mel had been there too, but maybe some other weekend.
Saturday Gak had to work. Michelle and I did my 'normal' Saturday routine, except for the grocery shopping thing. We went to Curves and did laundry. It was the Arts Alive festival in town this weekend and that meant we couldn't park in front of the house. Annoying, but only for the day unlike the road work last summer. We got ourselves cleaned up and then wandered around one block's worth of vendors. There were a lot of neat things there. Michelle picked up a pair of earrings and I picked up some pins. One of the pins I gave to my mom. It's a cute little frog made out of copper that had been heat distressed to give it some really cool colors. She loved it. Michelle and I also went to JoAnn's to look for some fabric for her to make yet another baby blanket for someone, this time a coworker was expecting her first grandchild. She wasn't very helpful when it came to colors or ideas, so it was a tough hunt.
Saturday night we were supposed to go over to Kat's and have hamburgers and stuff, but it decided to rain. That's OK, we just moved everything over to our place. I really do enjoy having everyone over, even if it is only for hamburgers and sodas.
I think Sunday was the highlight of the weekend though. I said on Friday that it was my friend Ed's son's Christening. Mom came up and met us at the house before we went to the church. It was a nice little ceremony added to the normal service. Nik was very well behaved and very 'talkative' and extremely cute looking. We all then went to a place Ed and Buffie had rented for a small family gathering. The kids all had a great time together and we got to hang out and have fun. I am somewhat curious though, I don't think any of Buffie's family was there. It seems a little odd, but I'm sure that there's a valid reason, and probably none of my business anyhow.
So of course after the family thing was done we decided to get together for the evening. Mom decided that it was time for her to leave. She wanted to get down to Gram's before it got too dark. Michelle decided to head out as well since she had a drive in front of her and had to go into work today as well.
We all gathered at Kat's, pulled out the Killer Bunnies and had some fun and a few more things to eat. I really did eat way too much yesterday. But it was all very good. Scott and Stew joined us for the game. Katie and Zoe were thrilled to be able to spend all day together. They also both have Ed's dad wrapped around their little fingers and he was so very thrilled to be with them all day.
So yes, this was a very full weekend and a lot of fun.
This week is promising to be full and busy as well. Tomorrow I leave for Colorado. I then will do two days of training and come back Friday night. A long week, but it should be OK. I just hope that everything has been installed at the site, they seemed a little anxious about this. It will be a nice time to be in Colorado, it should hopefully be warm. I haven't checked the weather yet, we'll see.
I'm waiting to hear from my mom about how Gram's appointments went today. I want her to be healthy, but I really hope she can avoid major surgery. I miss her and need to call her and send her some pictures from Disney. I'll put together a care package this evening and have Gak ship it out tomorrow.
Well, I've got to finish getting everything together for the trip this week. Luckily I have a day in the office next week before I head back to Canada for a few days, so I can take care of that then. I can't wait until the week after that. I'll be in the office for a full week!
Peace to all and may your lives be full of fun, friends and family.
Friday, May 18, 2007
This is going to be a somewhat random sounding post. There are several things bumping around in my head right now, and I should probably pay attention to most of them.
One of the things bumping around is that search for the missing solders in Iraq. My good friend Steve is based out of Fort Drum. He's in a communications blackout, but did manage to get word to a friend's husband who is also over there. We know he's OK and not amongst the missing or dead. That's a big sigh of relief, but I still wonder and worry about the others. I don't know them. I don't need to know them, I know Steve. If any of them are at all like him (and I'm sure they are) then they all have family and loved ones who care deeply about them and are worried sick. I also know that they've got large personalities and are missed by their friends and comrades. They are a constant little worry in the back of my head. I'm just glad I'm not the one who has to actually make the decisions of if we send troops over or not. I couldn't do it.
I finally have my computer at work back and almost working 100% again. I still need to fix some stuff with the demo, but I'll do that Monday. I got my 'new' motherboard put into my laptop along with my hard drive. I also got wireless software installed. I'm hoping it is the right one, because it doesn't look like what I had before. I watched the guy and it looks like the one Dell recommends for the card that's in my machine. Here's hoping. Overall, it wasn't too bad of an experience today. I can finally dock the laptop again and use my monitor instead of the little screen on the laptop. I almost prefer the laptop screen though, I've got an old 19" CRT monitor that's hard to look at after using a flat-panel display for everything except my TV for the past year or so.
I'm still worried about my Gram. I plan on calling her this weekend. I miss her horribly and am anxious about what the doctors will say on Monday. Part of me wishes I could go down, but there's nothing for me to do but worry and get in the way. Mom is the right person to go and help Gram keep every thing straight and be another set of ears to help pick up all the details. (It is amazing how many details you miss when you're worrying about something...)
This weekend is promising to be a good one, even if it might threaten to rain all weekend. Our friend Michelle is coming up from Maryland. It will be great to see her. I haven't had much of a chance to talk with her since January (Gak's much better about remembering to write or call than I am...). We don't have a whole lot on the schedule, but I think that's what all of us need. Sunday is the Christening 0f Ed's little boy. (I can't believe he's just about 6-months old now!!) That should be a fun gathering. I know I won't get much of a chance to talk with Ed, since there are a lot of people that will be there, but it will be good to see him, Buffie and the kids. I haven't actually seen them since January either. Well, I did run into Ed in the Qmart about a month ago now (I think...) but we didn't get to talk long.
The last thing that's bumping around my head is an odd thing for me to deal with. My friend here at work who is best friends with my ex gave me some interesting news today. I'd figured out that my ex and Jenn were dating. I think she's even living there, but I'm not sure. (No one ever told me outright, but from things said and actions, I guessed...) Well, my buddy told me today that they got engaged last month. I'm actually very happy for them. They are a much better fit than he and I ever were. They both enjoy more of the same things, have similar outlooks and keep similar hours. The last two is where he and I just didn't fit well at all. I really like Jennifer, she's a good person and we were good friends while I was dating my ex and I'm glad she's found someone she can be happy with (I used to worry about that quite a bit really...). I'm glad that he's figured things out enough to be happy with someone. I don't know what I'm feeling really. Relief I guess might be the best word, but it's still not quite right. Relief that he's found someone he can (hopefully) be as happy with as I am happy with Gak. I love Gak with all my heart and we fit together like old jeans and a comfy T-shirt. (Actually, when I was describing his visit up here from Florida to my mom back before he moved up here was that it was like finding your favorite old jacket tucked in the back of the closet or a comfy pair of sneakers you forgot you had...) I think it's also relief that that chapter can finally close totally and completely; I have my happily ever after, and now he does too? I don't know if that makes sense, but like I said, it's just an odd bit of news. I'm in an odd kind of mood to begin with today, so this just keeps bumping around my head.
Wow! I spent a lot more time rambling on about that then I thought I would. I'm tired, in an off mood and it's a Friday. I'm really looking forward to the weekend. Next week I go to Colorado and that should be fun. This should be a very nice time of year to head up there. I'll have a few hours Wednesday morning to myself, as the training isn't set to start until after lunch. I'll be just north of Denver, so I'm sure there are plenty of things for me to go see and poke my camera at. Maybe this time I'll actually take some pictures. I have brought my camera with me the last few weeks, but have shot a total of about 5 frames, the most interesting I posted on Wednesday.
Peace to you all and may you have something fun to look forward to this weekend. (Also, take a nap for me if you can, I could use it!)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
I'm home now. I'm tired, cranky and feeling very much behind the 8-ball so to say. There are a few things I've let fall through the cracks and are catching up to me. I've not pulled my share of work around the house and it shows and is making me cranky. I'm on the road again next week and only slightly looking forward to it. I should be home Wednesday evening though, so that should be good. There's a lot of crapola going on and well, I am just feeling overwhelmed and out of time. This being busy non-stop is almost worse than the terrible boredom from March when I was home the entire month. (Admittedly, there are a couple of things I'm sweating now that I should have paid attention to then...)
Anyhow, read my 'post' from Wednesday and enjoy. I hope to do better with it next week. Peace and enjoy the weekend!
Written during the opening remarks of the conference I am at:
This week is the annual user group and trade show for my business. Last year we were in Columbus, and that wasn’t so much fun. It was cool and damp and just not a pretty city. This year we are in Phoenix. I like Phoenix.
Monday was a travel day. The trip was uneventful. I got in around mid-day so I had a chance to wander around a bit.
Yesterday was our user’s group. Overall it went well. One of out presenters went a little long and was a little too geeky for many people. I didn’t have to actually present anything, which was a nice change.
Normally the evenings are filled with taking customers out to ‘wine and dine’ at crowded, noisy restaurants. It really isn’t very fun to me. Last night was different though. One of our customers who is helping host the trade show invited a handful of people over for dinner. There were probably around 20 people there. It was nice and laidback and a good time. There were several ‘competitors’ there, some of whom used to work for the same company as me, and we could just relax and hangout. I like those kinds of events.
Today is the first day of the trade show. The customer who hosted the party last night is running the opening session. Very fun. I hope today goes well. It should. I get to be ‘demo girl’ and show off our system. Not too different from training some days.
On another note, I got a call from my mom yesterday afternoon. My Gram had her 3-month procedure done after the removal of that mass that was first found back in November.
The results were not good. The mass is back and bigger than ever. It looks like they may have to actually remove the kidney. This is major surgery. Gram turned 84 in February. This would be tough surgery on anyone. I’m really worried and scared. I know there isn’t anything I can do from here, but it still nags at the back of my mind. We’ll know more in a couple of weeks when Gram has her next doctor’s appointment. Mom will be there and keep me in the loop.Well, I should be paying attention to the speakers; I am here for work. Peace.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Gak's new Tat
Originally uploaded by Addey Rat.
Well, yesterday I left out something that we did. Mostly because I didn't have a picture yet. Gak finally got a new tattoo. I only say finally because I had given him an IOU for one back in August for our first anniversery. It took him quite some time to decide what he wanted and then he/we kept procrastinating about it. Gak's boss also gave him a gift certificate towards the work for Christmas, which was really cool!
Yesterday morning I looked over at him and asked when he was going to get his bear claw done and his response was: "funny, I was just thinking about that...". So, needless to say, we went over to Challice yesterday after he got off work. He had a great and tallented girl work on him named Rachel. The whole staff there is really friendly and nice. Oliver who owns the place is very cool and friendly. Gak met him when he came over to the UPS store over a year ago to ship his kit to a convention.
Scott, Kat and Zoe showed up at one point, but Scott had to leave because his foot and back were hurting. (I don't know if I mentioned this, but he triped down a ravine at work a few weeks back and broke his leg....).
Zoe was sure that Gak would scream and that it would hurt. He humored her and as Rachel was prepping his arm went "ow". Both girls got a giggle out of that one. Sorry, Chelsea, but it looks like you've got the low pain tollerance, because other than Gak's fingers going numb becuase of how he had to hold his arm, not even a twitch. (Check out Chelsea's blog to see her comments on getting her first tat....)
We're both very pleased with this one and it looks great. It's much neater and nicer than his other one. As you can see, it fills up his upper arm nicely, and is almost the size of my hand. The reason for the bear claw is well, one of his nicknames for the longest time has been Bear and the celtic knotwork is because of his Irish heritage. (Part of the stipulation of the IOU was that there had to be a reason for it other than it looks cool. He's stuck with this for life so I wanted it to mean a little more...)
Well, I'm off to get a few things done. I've got an early flight out to Phoenix in the morning so I'd better get packed this evening. Peace to all and may you find meaning in your life.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
I really did have a ton of fun there. I am still very thankful that Uncle Jerry and Aunt Ellen paid for as much as they did. I know my sister needed the trip even more than I needed it, and boy did I need it! I never thought going to Disney was a big deal, that it was over-hyped and all that. Boy was I wrong. I can't wait to go back. I can't say it enough, it really is magic!
I really loved the 'tree' in the middle of Animal Kingdom. It looked like a 'normal' tree from far out, but as you got closer, you could see all the animals that make up it's bark. I hope Animal Kingdom grows into the great park I know it can be someday.
Epcot is my favorite park, I think. It has tons of fun stuff and tons of education too. I've always had a hard time not calling Spaceship Earth (the golf ball as Zoe calls it) Epcot. When I was little, having never been there, I thought all the different countries and stuff were inside the big dome. Nope. It's big, but not that big!
The "Sorcerer's Apprentice" is my favorite part of Fantasia. I couldn't resist taking this picture while we were at MGM.
Friday, May 04, 2007
The training on Tuesday went well. I had a bit of a time getting to the site. (please pardon me while I yell at this stupid laptop for a moment... the cursor keeps doing wacko things... Ok, I'm back.)
The site is located about 30 or 40 km from the hotel where I was staying. I had to be there by about 7 to miss the 'buss curfew' that they have. (There's almost no parking so there are tons of shuttle buses that bring people to the site every morning and afternoon and everyone has to stay off the roads at certain times.) Well, I got stuck in some construction traffic. I didn't quite make it there before the buses, so I had to wait a few to be picked up. Other than that, the training went quite well. I had 10 people who were mostly interested in what I had to tell them and were a bit of fun as well. I then went to dinner with the guy who set this all up and it was an enjoyable time. I'll be heading back up there in a few weeks.
Wednesday was looking to be a decent travel day. I had two layovers, but nothing too painful. I was going to have to go through customs though and hoped the line wouldn't be too bad as the second layover could be a little tighter than I like for that size airport. I made it through customs with no problems and made it to the gate with time to spare even. Then the delays rolled in. They kept saying something about our inbound crew being stuck in customs or whatever. No big deal. Well, it turns out that they had overworked and over scheduled the pilots and they weren't allowed to fly any more hours. There were no other crews available either. So about 10 of us got stuck in Toronto over night. This means I got the joy of going back through customs again. Mind you, that made filling out the customs form a little interesting, I mean, what do you put down for arriving flight information? The lady at the counter understood and there weren't any problems. The biggest problem was trying to find the ticket counter I was supposed to go to. Canadians are a friendly and helpful lot, but in this case, they just didn't have the right information. I can't be too mad at them, they were trying to be helpful.
I did manage to get home with no problems yesterday. It was neat to fly home in the daylight. I actually got to see the Finger Lakes of New York from the sky. They really do look like fingers from up there. They are so very long and very skinny. It was nice. Gak picked me up at 11 and we had an early lunch. We then went home. I crashed for about an hour or so and then grabbed a shower and got to work. Gak took himself into the office.
Kat, Zoe and Scott all came over for dinner last night. We has spaghetti. I was smart and made up the sauce while I was downloading my email and set it in the crockpot to simmer for a couple of hours and get really friendly until supper. (Yes, I even remembered to use the liner bag this time. Gak was very thankful of that one!) We had a good time and everyone was very appreciative. I kept telling them that it is almost always more fun to share a meal with several friends then to eat alone. I eat alone way too often when I'm on the road. I also enjoy cooking and cooking for my friends and family is the best.
As I posted Monday, I wasn't feeling very well. I haven't felt well all week. I've been feeling better and better, but I'm still not quite healthy again. My throat hurts (but my tonsils aren't 'fuzzy' or white, so no strep), my head is somewhat clogged with industrial strength snot (you know, the green gunk so thick that it resembles half-dried up rubber cement?). Well, I figure that I'm not 100% (more like 75%) by now and it's been almost a week. I also figured that I'm leaving for another four days come Monday. I decided that I'd better just call the doctor and see if I could get in today. I couldn't with my regular doc, but I was able to get in. This other doc is nice, but very quick. I definitely didn't get the warm, friendly feeling that I get from my normal doc, but that's OK. She asked the right questions, listened to my answers and came up with a good diagnosis. It turns out that I've got a good, old-fashioned case of tonsillitis, not strep, but annoying all the same. She put me on my good friend Amoxicillin and told me to use some saline spray for my sinuses. I truly hope this kicks it out of my system quickly, I'm getting tired of this. Maybe after tonight or tomorrow I'll be able to sleep through the night (haha) and not wake up with a painfully dry throat. We'll see.
Anyhow, I've got a metric ton of crud to catch up on, but thought I'd better post a quick one so that everyone knows I'm alive, in the States and still going crazy! Peace to you all and please take care of yourselves!