Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Well, I wasn't the only one fighting off a bug it seems. Yesterday I kept Boo home from day care and attempted to work from home in the afternoon. He didn't have a "real" fever, just barely 100, but that's warm for him. He was also Mr. Crankybutt and looked like he needed to sleep all day.
Well, his fever did go away quite quickly after a dose of baby Motrin, but the cranky part didn't and he only took one hour-long nap for me. Which is when I got some real work done. Most of the rest of the afternoon we spent curled up on the sofa watching Nick Jr. (I like the old name of Noggin better *sigh*)
But, he was actually smiling and laughing by the end of the day. He did go to bed pretty early because he was falling all over himself. Of course, he'd originally gotten up around 4am. I pulled him into our bed around 4:30 before he got too fussy and he was content to lay there with Trey for about an hour or so. He did wiggle all around and spent a bit of time kicking his poppa, but we were all able to snooze for a bit longer.

Today I have my follow up podiatrist visit. I have to say, my heels are feeling much better. Who knew that a little stretching could go such a long way?
And speaking of doctors, corporate is changing the way insurance works for all of us US employees. I have to do a good bit more reading/calculating, but it looks like it may cost about the same out of my pay check, but more out of pocket in the long run... depending on how many visits are covered 100% vs. not at all.... and what happens to the prescription plan. Ugh. This is not what I need right now with the salary freeze in place.

Well, I've got a waking boy and I've got to get my butt out the door to work. More later. Wish me luck, tomorrow starts reporting month, and October is never fun.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Not So Good

It's been a rough weekend for me.
Saturday went well enough for the most part. Laundry went well. The boy took a 2+ hour nap. We had a fun little adventure returning Gak's shoes he bought last week because they were giving him blisters.
But... I was beginning to feel like I'd been hit by a small car. Not a bus mind you, but something along the lines of a Honda Civic, just enough to be run down, but not out for the count.
I was also reaching my frustration point with Boo's eating, or lack there of this week. Especially the realization that a good part of it is my fault. Or at least, I wasn't helping things any this week. After we got back from DE by yesterday morning we still hadn't gotten back to anything resembling his normal eating habits and food selections.
I'm also sick and tired of the "arguments" over food and the eating and not eating. I'm frustrated with the fact that most days he'll eat a chicken tender made of whole chicken coated with breading, but if you try and give him grilled or baked chicken, forget it, instant tears. I'm upset that I can't seem to get him to eat the "healthy" versions of things, only ones that are pre-packaged or loaded with additives or fried or all kinds of unhealthy alternatives. For example, he'll eat half a serving of Spagetti-o's, but won't touch pasta with tomato sauce. Again, the chicken vs. chicken finger example. Banana chips vs. bananas. Freeze dried apples vs. apple sauce or real apples.
I know there are two schools of thought here. "He's young, he'll grow out of it" and "eating habits he forms now will last the rest of his life." I know first hand what it's like to try and "grow out of it" when it comes to not eating/bad eating. Most people don't realize I was a skini-mini who picked at a few things and downright refused most things. I hated going out to eat. I still do some days. At almost 34 years of age, I still don't eat anywhere near right. I still can't stand the sight of most vegetables, let alone the smell or taste. I honestly don't know if my parents forcing the issue of me eating better as a kid would have avoided this now. My brother "grew out of it" just fine, or at least better than I have, and he was even pickier as a kid. (Yes, there I go comparing myself to my brother again, but hey, he's the only other person there is in the "study group" of how I was raised.....
So, I don't know what to do. Gak doesn't know what to do either and mostly tries to follow my lead. The problem is, I don't know where I'm leading.

Boo has been doing a good job of getting on my nerves the last few days. Between the not eating, the random fussing, downright breakdowns, over who knows what because he either can't or won't tell us and the hair pulling, accidental whompings with objects he's holding or the constant flipping up of the back of my shirt... I'm at my whit's end. Oh, and did I mention he hasn't exactly been his normal, easy to put to bed self?
Nope, this vacation really screwed that up. I was expecting a rough night or two on vacation. I was (hahahaha) expecting things to return to normal at home after a night or so. Nope. His sleeping is still way off with naps, lack of naps, being all out fussy and waking up at strange times. Of course, I think part of it is that he's also fighting off a cold and is possibly getting more bottom front teeth. (He's been putting his entire fist in his mouth instead of just the first two fingers.... and there's been a bit more drool....)
Friday night was OK over all. Saturday night he should have gone to bed at about 7 he was falling all over himself tired. But no, he fought it until around 8 and then around midnight woke up screaming. He didn't go back down until about 12:30 and I couldn't get back to sleep until after 2. Last night he went down at 8 without much fuss and then around 9 decided to complain at the top of his lungs. (Mind you, this was after fighting tooth and nail against napping all day....)
Of course, this was right when I was about to go to bed. I'm tired, I'm not feeling well, my head it clogged, he's been pushing my buttons all day and I've been feeling like a crap momma anyhow. So, I get frustrated. I try and hold and comfort him for a moment. I give him some Tylenol because I'm sure his teeth are bugging him. I try and put him back down. I can't even come close to the crib without screaming to wake the dead issuing from my son. So, I not so nicely put him in the middle of the floor and growl "fine, sit there" as I start cleaning up his toys. Gak quickly gets out of the game at this point (he'd been in a group and enjoying himself... sorry *sigh*). He rescues the boy who's just sitting there watching me with a stunned look on his face. I beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom to try not to cry and because I actually did have to pee. I do come back and apologize to Boo for yelling at him and told him good night again and asked if he'd go to bed again soon.
I retreated to bed, but not to sleep. All I know is that for most of the past few days I've felt like the worlds worst momma and the most short tempered and self centered. Everything Boo does pushes a button. I know that 90% of it is because I'm tired and fighting a cold. The other 10% is the fact that on Thursday he's 16 months old and 2 is fast approaching. On most days, I can deal with toddler boundary pushing and limit testing. But, when I'm fighting a cold, almost all tolerance is lost.
So, in my mind I've been a horrible momma, a lousy wife and in general a not very nice person to be around. I'm sure I'm blowing it all out of proportion, but I've been good at that since I was about Boo's age. All you had to do was even think about looking like you were upset with something I did and I'd dissolve into tears and beat myself up for hours about whatever it was.

Anyhow, I'd better wrap this up so I can get dressed, make my lunch and get out the door. Ugh, I feel like I've been run over by a car again. *sigh*

Peace to all and may your buttons not be pushed, the communication work and the colds stay away.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Today is the birthday of my friend, my husband and the most wonderful father to our son.
I know I'm not always the best when it comes to treating him right. I get bossy, and stubborn and well, just not nice some times. For that, I apologize. I'm also not the best when it comes to remembering birthdays, buying the perfect (or any) card or gift. Like I said before, I have problems focusing beyond the end of the week, let alone far into the future.
But, for some reason you still love me.
And I love you so very much, even if I don't show it very well.

I hope this year brings you much joy and happiness, a large dose of fun and luck and hopefully a side of prosperity to round it all out.

Happy birthday my love.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Home Again

I would call this a successful vacation. In some ways it was a little too short, but in others it was just right.
We had so much fun.... or at least I did. I'm pretty sure the boys did too.
Let's see, what did I forget, since we all know I can't go anywhere without forgetting something. The most important things I forgot was Boo's and my hair brushes. That was easily solved. That and I didn't make sure Gak had enough short sleeved shirts. I honestly thought the weather was going to be cooler than it was and that at least one day we'd be thankful for longer sleeves, but I was wrong.

Anyhow, on to the chronicles of the adventure. You will notice that there is a slew of new pictures and even some video up on the Flickr. Yep, I finally got video of my son walking, and boy was he walking like a true toddler all this week!
Saturday we got on the road fairly easily. We stopped at the Wa Wa for drinks and a few munchies before hitting the Turnpike. I think this is the first time in several trips that I've headed down in the direction of Delaware or Maryland that I haven't hit traffic somewhere on the trip. Traffic was a breeze. Jay called us around 5 asking where we were and we had just passed Dover. So, instead of her going out to eat with Jean, we convinced her to meet us at Grotto Pizza on Long Neck. We got there shortly after 6, and Jay was a bit later. We were just about to order when Gak gets a call from Mom asking where we were and she's about 10-15 minutes out and was about to stop for dinner, so decided to join us. Talk about perfect timing!
Grotto's is a favorite, and I do mean favorite pizza place of this clan. Well, I think Gak's growing to like it and Boo still doesn't like Pizza yet. But, when we would go down to the beach every week as kids, we'd go there on average of once a week. You won't find pizza like it anywhere.
After some minor misadventures getting to Bobbie's house, we settle in for the evening. Or at least we try to. It turns out that the room we put Boo's pack-n-play in is the one room in the house that he hates. We eventually get him to go to sleep. Oh, did I mention he slept from just after we got on the Turnpike until just past Dover? He did. I was so happy about that.
On Sunday we decide to go into Rehoboth for the day. We couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather if we wanted too! It wasn't too hot and there was a nice breeze and the ocean water was nice and warm. We spent a bit of time when we first got there wandering around the Avenue poking about in some stores. We picked up some beach towels since mine were sitting on my bed here in PA and Mom's was at Bobbie's house. I also picked up a very nice shirt that was on sale, it just needs about 20 minutes of tailoring to make it just right.
After this shopping, it was time to go on to the beach!
Mind you, Boo hasn't been in a swimming pool since one time last summer and has never been on sand. He eventually warmed up to the sand and played in it quite merrily for a while. We then went down to the water itself. He does not like to walk on sand. Nope, not at all. He likes the sound, but then again, as I reminded Gramma, it probably sounds a lot like the womb and he's still young enough to have that memory a little more in place than us older types.
Everything went very well until he took an accidental dumping and then dumped a bucket of sandy salt water on himself. Luckily he recovered from that quite quickly and was content to play in the sand for a good long bit. We had some PB&J for lunch (none for the boy, he had other snacks and none for the gulls either!) and called it ice cream time (and time to refill the meter, which now takes plastic and is computerized... Sunday was the last day for the season.)
By the time we got the boy changed out of his sandy swim trunks and into some dry clothes and walked the block to the ice cream place, he was asleep. Oh well, he missed the ice cream, but the rest of us enjoyed it and a walk along the boards.
Monday was a marathon shopping day. Unfortunately, this wasn't too much fun for Gak and well, I made him feel a bit like a third wheel. I didn't mean too, but I guess I just have this routine when I'm there and in all honesty, I don't remember much about having a dad/grown male along on vacations. I have vague memories of our trips to New Mexico and California and even vaguer memories of a trip to Colorado, but once we moved out here, Dad really stopped coming on vacation with us. I have to try harder on this. I love having Gak around and I want him to come on vacation with us, as he needs the escape as much as I do and well, I love having him around.
Anyhow, back to the shopping. We managed to buy a lot of stuff for less than $200 at the outlets. I got a shirt, some pants and some socks etc. and Boo got a good portion of his winter wardrobe (size 18-24 or 24-48 (2T) in shirts, size 18-24 in pants). I think he's good on pants, he just needs shirts now. And I'm thinking now that he's a champion walker, onsies are soon to be a thing of the past, it's just easier to change a shirt than a onsie at this stage.
Mom actually only shopped with us for the beginning and the end, as she had lunch with Jay in the middle. For lunch, since Boo was asleep, the three of us went back into Rehoboth and had Grotto Pizza at the original location on the Avenue. Yum!
After the shopping, we all headed back to the house. I got cleaned up a bit and after a while Gak and I went out to celebrate his birthday. No, his birthday isn't until Friday, but we had a sitter handy, so we took the opportunity while we could. We went back into Rehoboth again and had dinner at the Dogfish Head Brewery. I had some of the most amazing rum I've tasted (although, my Cruzan rum is just as yummy, but different) that they distill and Gak had a sampling of their own brewed beers. Gak had what looked to be a nice piece of prime rib and I had enough fish and chips for two! As a matter of fact, Gak helped me. Yes, I ate fish, willingly. I like fish if it's a nice, bland white fish that's been batter dipped and deep fried. Actually, this was pretty good stuff.
After the nice dinner we walked down to the boardwalk and the beach and had a nice romantic stroll on the beach. All of this was his idea. Here it is, his birthday celebration and he's the one coming up with all the cool romantic stuff. *sigh* I'm such a looser when it comes to things like that. Oh well. I have other talents. (Like annoying the hell out of my husband... I'm not sure I should be proud of that one....)
Yesterday was a nice, low key day. Or at least, we were going to attempt to keep it low key. We went over to Pot Nets, where Gram used to live, to go to the inlet. In hind sight, I should have asked Gak if he wanted to go or if he wanted to stay home and get some alone time. I didn't and well, he felt like an extra wheel. AARGH.
Boo had to get over his distrust of sand again, but once he did he was happy boy. He even stood on his own in the "waves" (all of 2-3 inches) and even tried walking in the water! He may just turn into a beach bum yet. That would make me so happy. Actually, if he prefers hiking and canoeing in the mountains, I'd be just as happy.
Last night we had dinner at the Georgia House in Millsboro with Jay and Bobbie. It was soo good to see these two. I hadn't seen Jay in about 3 years or so and I hadn't seen Bobbie since Gram's memorial service. They were two very important ladies in my childhood. Dinner was a bit rough, but the company was good.
Boo did not sleep well at all this trip. Sunday was a bit better than Saturday if only because we moved his pack-n-play into the dinning area. Monday he didn't want to fall asleep in his pack-n-play and ended up zonking out next to his gramma on the sofa. Last night was the easiest he went down, but since he didn't get a nap until 6:00 when I finally put him in the car and drove around the block, he got his second wind by the end of dinner and didn't go down until about 9 or 9:30 and was up by 7. He did sleep quite well on the trip home and we got him into bed at about 7:30.
Overall, this was a successful trip. I look forward to trying to get on the schedule for the house next year. And I will make sure to double or triple my effort to not just steamroller the whole trip and make sure that Gak feels as included as I well and truly think that he is.

Anyhow, it's now past 9:00 and I've got to be at work in the morning. Abi is visiting her mom from Phoenix from today until Sunday. She's leaving Sunday and is going to AC on Saturday with Jessi, so I'm not sure how we'll get a chance to get together..... Stupid time zones and jobs.

Peace to all and may your vacations be good and the sun warm and the water cool.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Vacation Time!!

Well, the dinning room and kitchen are about as ready to paint as I can get them.
The car is almost packed.
I don't think I've forgotten anything, but I'm sure I have. (I know I have plenty of diapers, I am bringing a new pack, and that usually lasts 2 weeks, we're going 4 days.)
So, we're on our way. Our first vacation of more than one night with our little man. Wish us luck!

Peace to all and I'll see you on the flip side.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Well, yesterday was quite an enjoyable evening. And before you ask, no I don't have any pictures. My camera was in the living room all evening and we were in the dining room. Mom and Aunt Beverly did get some, so I hope one of them will share soon.
Everyone got here at around 6:15 or so. They were planning on getting here earlier, but they took a few wrong turns and Garmin had to keep recalculating the route. They brought dinner from Boston Market, which is a favorite of mine really. I hate to say it, but I like their chicken best.
Anyhow, I left Boo with the family while I went and picked up Gak. I'd given Boo a bit of dinner around 6 because he was getting hungry and fussy.
Boo did very well and warmed up to Uncle Richard very quickly. Not surprising, he is a likable kind of guy and a little goofy. Dinner was quite enjoyable, with lots of good conversation. It's always good to see Beverly and Richard, it really does stink that they live all the way on the other side of the country. I know, I've said that before, and I'll say it again.

In other family news, both John and Kate (John's about as close to a cousin of mine without actually being a cousin) and Ben and Jenny are both expecting baby number 2! I'm so excited for them. (Although, a little sad for us because as much as I'd like to try for number 2, it's not in the cards financially right now... I won't be that financially irresponsible as to have a baby I can't afford day care for. There, I said it, now hopefully people won't ask again for a few months... *sigh*)

I did see some sad world news this morning already though. Ms. Marry of Peter, Paul and Mary passed away yesterday. I love their voices together. You can really tell they like each other when you see them perform. All three of them are kind souls. Her light on this world will be sadly missed.

Peace to all and may the family gatherings be good, the news happy and the songs beautiful.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Focus? What Focus?

I'm very excited about this evening. I haven't seen my aunt and uncle (my only ones!) in just about a year. I really like getting together with them, they're great people. Every time we do get together though, I realize how much my brother and I and our two cousins missed out on growing up. We grew up on opposite sides of the country. I don't really know my cousins very well, but when I do get to spend time with them, I really enjoy it and there are so many family resemblances and quarks it is scary! The first time I'd met Ben after about 8 years apart, I just kept marveling at how much like my brother he was, and they're just shy of 4 years apart in age. Blood truly can be thicker than water. I also really wish I was able to spend more time with Rae, but she and Kami live all the way on the left coast. At least Jon gets a chance once a year or so to catch up at Thanksgiving.... if everyone goes to the same place. (What really bums me out is the fact that Ben, Jenny and Daniel live just over 3 hours away and we never make time to get together...)
Oh well.
But, I love what little family I have and will treasure the moments I get to spend with them.

This really wasn't the intent of my post. That's the "what's happening now" segment. I really wanted to write about something that's been tossing around back and forth in my brain for a couple of days. It'll probably embarrass the hell out of my brother. Oh well, that's what big sisters are for, right? To make him feel better go check out his blog, there's a nice link over there. He's got some pics of his new place up,

I've been thinking a lot about success and financial stability and things like that lately. It's been somewhat hard not to, with what you see on the news and what I don't see in my bank account.
For all intents and purposes, I'd call my brother very successful. He's got a great job, he's house hunting to buy a place in CA with a woman who I think is wonderful, and he's happy and able to do the things he wants to do.
All because of careful planning, a huge drive and knowledge of "what he wants".
Me, on the other hand, while I would consider myself moderately successful, I'm no where near Jon's level. I mean, I've got a wonderful husband and the most wonderful son I could ever have hoped for, but... providing for them and for myself is a day-to-day struggle, both financially and mentally.
My brother and I are both smart, just wired differently. He's driven and focused and responsible and thinks things through. Me, I'm more of a drifter, live in the moment, have a hard time focusing past the end of the week, let alone "long term".
Here's a story that I think will focus this, and explain why he's smart enough to have money to buy a house and I'm wondering where the next day care payment will come from.
In our school district they used to have this program called "Challenge". It was for "gifted" students. You had to bet tested in order to get in. Well, my brother and I were both tested when we moved into the district and we both got into the program with the same score (or almost the same), but with strengths in different areas. (Mom never told me the details, and it doesn't really matter too much...) I was thrilled to be in the program, all the "cool" kids were.
Now, mind you we were 2 grades apart in school, so this activity didn't take place at the same time for us, but the same grades.
I think in about 8th grade or there abouts, one of the final grades of the program (it didn't extend into high school, that's what AP and Honors classes were for...), one of the activities the class did was a stock exchange challenge. Everyone was put into teams or pairs, I can't remember which, and "given" $10,000.00 or something like that to invest in the stock market, at least on paper with the challenge to see who could make the most money. We were given minimal instruction and we had to get annual reports from businesses and research them and we could ask all the question s we wanted. Needless to say, it was a good thing Julie and I weren't given real money. We stunk at this. I had no idea what we were doing. I tended to buy and sell with my heart, not really my head. I couldn't understand the numbers, or how to read them, or even what questions to ask, it was all too frustrating and confusing to me. And, no, I don't think it's because I'm a girl and was never taught about money. My brother had the same lessons from our parents as I did. It's not that I'm not good at math, I am. I normally love numbers and patterns and puzzles. I just didn't get this one. Julie and I were in the bottom of the class on this exercise.
Then, 2 years later my brother does the same exercise. With the same instruction I got and the same information, he and his partner or group won the whole thing. They made the most money. They earned a trip to NYC to go see the real stock exchange and the World Trade Center. (This will tell you how old we are... they couldn't go to the WTC because it was closed to visitors after the first attempted bombing... yeah... we're that old....) He was driven and far seeing enough to be able to navigate his way successfully.
Needless to say, my brother is also a much better chess player than I am.

So, in a way, you could see this whole mess I'm in way back in Jr. High. Even then I lived in the moment, focused on the softer, warmer and fuzzier side of life. That's not to say my brother doesn't care deeply about his friends or have any empathy or anything like that. No, he cares deeply for those who make it into his heart. (You're a very lucky woman Becca... and I won't hesitate to admit I was jealous that my brother could love another woman so much... for a long time I felt like I was his number 1 girl other than Mom. I may be wrong... but..... And he's very lucky to know you, you rock!)

Now, the real question is, how do I get out of this? The simple answer would be: marry someone who has the drive and the vision to see past the end of the week. Well, that didn't happen. Gak lives in the moment about as well as I do. And we get along fabulously for it, other than the fact that it creates tension like we're dealing with now.
I have no answer. If I had an answer, I don't think I'd be as stressed and worried and broke as I am. Quite frankly, some days I don't feel like the boy with his finger in the wall, but the one who came along about an hour and a half too late and things are out of control and there's no obvious way to stop the water. Yeah, that's me. I've got the best intentions in the world, I just have no idea how to get there... and probably don't have the attention span anyhow.

Do I have a point to all this? Maybe. Maybe my point was just to point out how similar and different siblings can be at the same time. Maybe it was to try and explain why my life seems to be always about to spiral out of control and Jon's seems so nice and ordered. Maybe it was to make me feel better about the chaos that surrounds me (and that normally I enjoy). I just don't know.
Or, it could be that I was awake at 5am and had some time to write. With me, it's a real possibility.

Anyhow, I'd better think about getting myself together so I can get out the door so I can pick up my boy at 4:30 and spend the evening with my family. That's my real goal today, enjoying the evening with family.

Peace to all and may your insight be helpful and your family wonderful.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Vacation? Not yet.

Well, the official count down to my mini "summer" vacation is on. 4 more work days and then I'm free! At least until next Thursday. Gak has one more day after that, but... it's a short day and he doesn't have to do the driving.
I'm actually pretty excited about it. I think this will be my first trip down there since before the wedding when we found our wedding bands. I can't wait to take Boo onto the beach and let him experience sand and waves and salt water. I never did get him into a pool this summer. I'm kinda cranky with myself for that one. I could have used Frank's pool at almost any time, but even after all these years I still feel a little weird just going over or calling and asking to use the pool if Kat's not around. I really wanted to sign up for a baby and me swim time at the Y, but there was no way I could scrape that money together. I hate how tight finances have been and will continue to be for at least the next year. (Again, a whole different rant and not why I'm posting, but it casts it's ugly shadow over all I do right now...)
Back to vacation. Ahh... sun.... sand.... waves.... Grotto's Pizza. Mmmmm.... I can't wait!
Mom will be joining us down there and that will be wonderful. I'm glad she's coming. In some ways, even though I'm an adult, who's married and has a 15-month old for crying out loud, I still feel weird borrowing Bobbie's house by myself or for my family. I don't know why, it just does. Maybe because I've known Bobbie forever and well, she's more like a grandmother of sorts to me, but not my grandmother.... oh, it's all to confusing. But, speaking of Bobbie, she will be coming down to the house Tuesday evening so we'll get to spend some time Wednesday with her! That will be great. I haven't seen her since Gram's memorial.
Of course, I haven't been to the beach since shortly after Gram passed, and I haven't been to Rehoboth since before that. Mom and Dad went down last fall for a day, and again earlier this season I think. (I don't remember, it's all fuzzy...) I'm sure I'll add some of my own salty tears to the salty water. The emotions will be running high that's for sure. I'm just so excited about introducing my son to the beach though.
Some people are beach people. Some are mountain people. Me, I think I'm a bit of both. I mean, I love the beach and swimming in the ocean and all the wonderful memories being there holds. But... I really do love the mountains and the trees of the woods and the bitter cold streams to splash in on a hot, sunny summer's day. If I had to choose either a mountain cabin or a beach house as my only vacation destination for the rest of my life, I'd be very hard pressed to choose. One is so peaceful and relaxing and calm in an isolated kind of way, the other is fun and hectic and full of vibrant life.
Well, that's what's coming up this weekend and I can't wait.
What was this past weekend was a pretty calm one all things considered. Boo is getting to be more and more of a toddler. I have yet to get this on video because I don't have any charged AA batteries and I keep forgetting to charge them. I really will, I promise. I'll even make sure to have batteries for the beach.
Last night was fun... if you're into a baby crying every 10 to 15 minutes for about 2 hours when you have to get up at 5 the next morning. We have no idea what got into Boo last night, but starting about 9, he just did not want to be in bed or stay asleep. I'm so very thankful that Gak took him and tried to comfort him and get him to settle back down, letting me to try and get some sleep. Unfortunately it didnt work over well, but I did manage and Boo did manage to finally settle down around 11:30 and stay that way.
Boo did something very cute to Gak today though. Gak was on the computer keeping an ear out while Boo was playing on his own for a bit. Next thing Gak knows is Boo has come up to him, patted him on the leg and is handing him a diaper. Boo then goes and calmly sits by the changing area waiting for his Poppa. Yes, the boy had a stinky butt and knew how to get his Poppa's attention. Our question is where did he get the diaper from. Hopefully it was one that fell down when Gak was changing him, as the open ones are all at about my eye level!

Ok, that was the cute boy story of the day. No pictures though, I've been a bad Momma and not gotten the camera out much at all.
I've got to go get the trash together and make sure the recyclables go out tonight.

Peace to all and may you have something to look forward to.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Well, good news is my foot is not in danger of falling off.
What? Didn't I mention that I was having foot issues? Specifically lots of heel pain and the X-rays showed some bone spur growth? No? Yes? Maybe?
Well, I finally got around to getting an appointment with a podiatrist. Let me tell you, I like this guy. He's kinda young, funny, very good at explaining things and totally for solving things "naturally" if possible. Point in fact, he hasn't operated for bone spur/planter fascia issues in oh... 7 years or so. Yeah, he's that good at getting people to solve it without surgery.
It was kinda funny though, he was explaining what was going on and how everything was connected and using some big words that I'm guessing most people don't know because he seemed to be trying hard to find better words. You should have seen the relief on his face when I said that I understood what he was saying about origins and insertions because I do have a biology degree... (even if I don't use it and have forgotten about 80% of it.... but that's a whole different story...).
He was also full of useless trivia... like the fact that orthotic inserts have been shown to go back to ancient Egypt and were made out of clay and straw. So, yes, now this is stuck in my head too... at least for now.
He's also the first doctor that I've ever been to that has ink... yes, I mean tattoos. He's got partial sleeves that were poking out from the bottom of his scrubs sleeves.
Anyhow, on to my treatment of my stupid foot pain that's been keeping me out of the woods... I've got a few different stretches to do because the root of all this pain... my Achilles tendons are tightening up because I'm getting older... As Dr. S. said "when we get older everything that was tight gets loose and everything that was loose gets tight". That and he wants me to get some inserts for my shoes from the sporting goods store. Eventually he'll get me "real" inserts, but wants me to try these first. Whatever, I'll do it if it means I don't have to get my feet (as this does end up occurring bilaterally in almost all cases) opened up and I can avoid the shots.

Which brings me to a very real observation of why the health care system is so borked. In talking Dr. S. said that most clinicians push shots because they're cheep, easy and make them lots of money. He doesn't believe in that though. (He deals with the same thing himself and did the shots for a handful of years before he started taking his own advice.... now he's more non-shot than before.) He told me that the insurance company will pay him $70 for just sitting there and talking to me (which he did for about 20-30 minutes, more than most docs!) or he'd get $370 if he gave me the shot. He didn't tell me how much the shot would cost him, but I doubt it was anywhere near $300.
This is the problem, insurance companies pay the doctors too well to treat the symptoms and do procedures than to treat the underlying causes. That's part of why I like going to a DO instead of an MD... DOs at least are trained to look at causes, not just symptoms... same results, different approach.
It also explains why doctors are so quick to get you in and out... the more patients they see, the more $70 fees they can collect from the insurance company, on top of whatever copay they got ($25 in my case for a specialist... can I tell you how very lucky I am to have the insurance I do... and I don't need a referral either!)
Anyhow, I'm not so sure we need to go through all this hoopla that's in the current bill about health care more than we need to cut out the waste and get doctors focused more on treating and preventing the cause, not just encouraging them to clog the system with high payoff procedures. (That and make sure those getting public assistance aren't abusing it... I'm all for helping out those that need help, but the people who find ways to get more than they need or turn around and do things like sell their food stamp money for cigs or drugs... well... those people should be jailed for fraud at the very least.... that and why are we paying for people who aren't legally supposed to be here anyhow? ...that's a whole different debate and a hornet's nest I don't feel like stirring right now.)

Ok, I didn't mean to turn this into a political rant, but hey, it's on everyone's minds right now.

As for this weekend, no idea as to what's going on. It's raining at the moment and the weather is looking pretty unsteady. I think we'll just take it easy. Wednesday my aunt and uncle and parents are coming up for dinner, which will be fun. And next weekend is our trip down to Delaware! Vacation, finally!

But, that's about all you're going to get from me this morning. I've got to throw some clothes on and get my butt out the door.

Peace to all and may your feet be healthy and your doctors cool... and above all, may we all be able to afford them when we need them!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Labor Day Weekend Review

Well, let's see here. Overall the weekend was good. On a personal note though, I feel really horrible for blowing off two of my best friends and being, well, a bit on the bitchy side.
I was going to save that for the end, but might as well get it out up front. I blew off Joan for a "girls night" mostly because of the comic she chose, don't enjoy him, and just didn't want to go. I'm so broke right now that even someone footing the bill makes me feel worse, not better. I also blew off Kat and going up to Ray's for a birthday party for two of his kids. I haven't seen Ray in a couple of years and it would have been nice to catch up again. (I'm not sure if you remember the post ages back where I ran into him in the grocery store... he's my high school ex. He's turned into a pretty decent guy, now that we've both grown up a bit.) There were also some other people who were going to be there that I haven't seen in quite a while. Oh well. My loss.
I did apologize to both Joan and Kat. I know we're still cool, but I still feel like a royal bitch and not a very good friend for it all.

Let's move on to the good part of the weekend shall we?

The weather this weekend was just plain beautiful. Yesterday was a little gray, but that's OK.
Saturday was a "typical" Saturday in the fact that I dropped Gak off at work, got the laundry done (in record time, too I think... not sure how I managed that) and came home. Boo and I played for a bit and ate a little (very little in his case) lunch at around 11. Around 11:30 or so he was falling down tired, so I put him down for a nap. (We're trying to get him to only take one nap in the afternoons, because that's his daycare schedule now.) Well, the boy slept for about 2.5 hours. Yes, he'd gotten plenty of sleep the night before, but for some reason, he was just pooped!
This gave me the perfect opportunity to finish a couple of projects. I finished up the fall wall hanging (and just in time for the season for a change and in only 3 weeks!) and made Daniel's birthday present from start to finish. I also managed to crochet 2 new scrunchies out of left over ribbon and get a little more yarn work done too. Of course, by this time I was wondering if my boy was ever going to wake up, and he did... a little cranky.
We picked up Gak, had an early dinner like usual (one small luxury I'm loath to give up... don't get me started, I'm not talking about money right now). We then went to the grocery store and did a "divide and conquer". By then it was already almost 6! So, we came home and played with the boy for a bit and had a heck of a time trying to get him to go to bed at 8. Oh well.
Instead of going out with my friends on Sunday, we went down to Mom and Dad's. It was a very enjoyable day and Boo was showing off left and right his walking prowess and so very proud of himself! I think he walked more on Sunday than the previous 4 days combined! He was definitely happy boy. The other highlight of the day was Am-ma giving her boy his first hair cut. More of just a trim around the ears really. He did not enjoy it. He sat on my lap facing me and squirmed and cried the entire minute and a half that it took. So, he still has his baby curls in the back, but now he won't look like he's about to fly away over the ears. He really is a handsome boy. (I left my camera at home and got one good one on Mom's, but she'll email it to me later.) Yes, I kept the entire trimming... there wasn't much and well, I'm sentimental that way.
Yesterday, being Labor Day, Gak and I worked. Not at our usual jobs, but we started on a major cleaning of the dining room and kitchen. We'd lost the dining room table again. It needed to be found by next Wednesday when my aunt, uncle and parents will be over for dinner. Also, the kitchen table was all but lost as well. I think we spent a good couple of hours working on it, and entertaining a boy as well. It looks pretty good. There's more work to be done, but overall, I'm happy with the progress. Now if only I could learn to keep it that way. (I know how, I just seem incapable of using that knowledge on a regular basis....)
Boo took a short nap mid-day (only an hour this time) and in the afternoon we went over to Best Buy and to Target. You see, our DVD player is dead. It won't recognize a disk when you put it in there. There was a decent one at the stores, but it was $42 at Best Buy (but in stock) and only $35 at Target, but out of stock. So, we didn't buy either because, well, I really can't afford to anyhow. (Dammit, I wasn't going to talk about money.....) So, we just wandered around a bit and then came home.
Boo didn't nap at all in the afternoon (even though he should have) and was cranky boy off and on. I'm wondering if he's not getting more bottom teeth. He did eat dinner though. It was quite a messy experience and I expect it will be from here on out. You see, Boo is finally interested in using a spoon himself. I did manage to get almost an entire bowl of his chicken and stars into him. Once I forced a bite upon him and he realized what it was I was trying to get him to eat instead of refusing it out of hand... silly boy. I hate doing that and don't often...but.... some days it's the only way.... It's like he'll refuse what he's offered even before he knows what it is, just to be a stinker because it's on a spoon, not a crunchy finger food (crunchy being key I think) because he'll gobble up the crunchies after he refused a bite, so he is hungry.
I have no idea where I was going with that very run on sentence and paragraph. Oh well.

At any rate, I've got to get going. I've got a few pictures to post to Flickr. I've got to get out the door to work.

Peace to all and may you be the friend that you really are and enjoy the weekends.

Thursday, September 03, 2009


Well, everyone today had a checkup or a review of some kind today. And overall, we're all doing just fine.
Boo's appointment was first. He's right on target developmentally. He's 31.25" tall and 22lb 6 oz, so he's down about a half lb. from June. He's right around the 50th percentile for height and head circumference, and the 25th for weight. The doctor wasn't too worried about his weight because he's become so much more active lately. She didn't have much advice for getting him to eat, just telling us to expect him to not eat much at one sitting (apparently he was freakishly hungry or something before August...) and to just make sure that his snacks round out his meals as far as fruits/veggies and the like go. Also to try and get more iron into him because he was a bit on the anemic since back in June and that may actually be affecting his appetite. She gave us a list of high iron foods and well, he avoids most of them like the plague. Joy. She did, however give us some fluoride/iron drops to give him. They don't put fluoride in our water for whatever reason, and of course he needs it for his teeth. So, they started making this combo drop. We'll see. I haven't tried to give it to him yet. So, other than my worries about his eating, he's just fine.
He also got three shots today. He got his 4th HIB shot and the flu shot and his first dose of MMR. He screamed bloody murder through the whole thing, but was fine shortly thereafter. That is until we got to Gak's doctor appointment.
Both of us forgot that Gak had a doctor's appointment today as well until they called yesterday to confirm. Oops. Good thing I was going to be home anyhow and it was enough after Boo's appointment there wasn't an issue. Anyhow, his cholesterol is below 200, but the ratio between the good and bad is a little out of whack. He is doing well over all. She's very glad to hear he walks 2 miles almost every day to get to work. She was also happy to hear the low dose of Welbutrin that she's prescribed is working out just fine. Most people end up taking a higher dose than he is, but he's feeling good with what he's taking, and she's the last person who would over-prescribe something. Oh, and he had a stink bug in his ear.
Yes, that's right, he had a dead bug in his ear. Suffice to say she saw something odd when she was looking in his ear and decided to flush it out. Low and behold, there was a bug. Gross... ewww... ick. I'd be grossed out for weeks.... as is I'll be a little squeamish about it for a few days. *shudder*

Anyhow, after the boys had their doctor appointments we decided to go to Chick-Fil-A for either a really early lunch or a really late breakfast. (A second breakfast for Boo, as he'd had a yogurt and some shredded wheat for breakfast at 8.) We then bopped around Target for a bit. Of course, this means we didn't go home like I planned so I didn't turn on the crockpot, so dinner wasn't ready. Luckily it was still cool when I got home since the chicken was frozen to begin with this morning. It's cooking now and we'll eat it tomorrow.

Oh, I guess you want to know about my review?
Well, it went quite well. My performance is improving. (Well, that happens when you're not feeling overwhelmed with the burden of having to travel and have some semblance of order in your life.) Charlie is quite happy with my performance in parts. (Well, what I'm doing is super simple and almost downright boring...) I said I'd love to get a few small projects in parts to work on or something a bit more than what I'm doing and that I need more service work. My manager would like to see me take more priority 1 (fast response, something is BUSTED calls... something I've never been good at as they usually fall outside my expertise.) He also noted that in the first half of the year I was definitely NOT a top performer. Well, duh. i was miserable, I didn't know what was up or what was going on or even if I wanted to stay. I'm a good bit happier now. Also, over the last several years with my former manager, I'd been able to get very lazy about certain things. I told my current manager so and that I've been trying like crazy to break myself of those bad habits. It seems to be working for the most part.

Anyhow, that was our day.

Oh, that and I seem to be stirring up mischief with some of my more conservative friends over on facebook. Oh well. Some days I think I'm too liberal for half my friends and too conservative for the other half. I guess that means I'm just about right. I won't get into what the disagreement is about because, well... it just isn't worth it right now.

As for this weekend, Gak actually has Sunday and Monday off! Sunday we're going down to my parents' for a picnic at the park and to play a bit. Joan wants me to go with her and Kat to go see a comic up at the Allentown Fair, but I don't really enjoy the guy that much and I'm too broke to get into the Fair to begin with, and I'd feel bad not paying her back for the ticket. I tried to tell her last week I didn't want to go, but she's not listening. (She also happens to be the one I'm arguing with, but that has absolutely no bearing on why I don't want to go.... I honestly am not fond of the comic she has tickets to.)
Other than that no plans.

I'm going to sign off and go play with some yarn I think. (I'm still looking for a "plays with yarn" group that meets somewhere vaguely near my house one evening a week.... but so far I can't find a darn thing.)

Peace to all and may the checkups be good and the weekends long.

PS. No dragon pictures for the boy today. I forgot when we got home and we played the sock sorting game.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

15 months!

Well, my sweet little boy is a full-fledged 15 months old today. Nope, no dragon pictures yet. He was tired boy when we got home from day care because he's either fighting a cold or allergies and only took a half hour nap at day care.
We did, however, turn his car seat around front facing on Sunday. We'd talked about doing it before, but I was happy to leave it be for the most part. His seat is rated back facing up to 35 pounds and I figured when he got to be about 30 we'd switch it. Gak convinced me otherwise even though Boo is still only about 23 lb. I'm not sure Boo has really noticed it too much. At least, he hasn't seemed more or less excited about it than usual. Could just be that he's a laid back kinda kid.
He is eating at day care, so that's a good thing. I just wish he'd eat at home. For example, today he ate half a grilled cheese sandwich at school, but Saturday threw the one I made him on the floor. And yes, I was mean momma when he started throwing it on the floor and pretty much shoved a bite in his mouth. That got him to eat another bite, but the rest went down. I know it's a power struggle, and I just don't know how to react or not react to get him to knock it off. Making a big deal of him tossing food on the floor in a disapproving voice and telling him he's not getting anything else doesn't work, and neither does completely ignoring it. *sigh* I know, he'll eat when he's hungry, but he hasn't put on any weight since his birthday (although we'll know for sure on Thursday) and well, that worries me. That and he used to be such a big eater. He's not short on calories, I know that much. He's getting the milk he needs (usually). I should just stop worrying, but I can't, I'm his momma.
Boo continues to impress me and amaze me every day. He's getting cuter and smarter and stronger by the minute. He can stack 3 blocks if he pays attention, and once even got 5 stacked before he knocked them over trying for 6. He's "talking" more and more (and looking like a badly dubbed Japanese movie). I really love this little guy and the sunshine he's brought to our lives. I couldn't imagine a world without him any more, nor do I want to try. Between him and his Poppa, I'm one very lucky lady.

In other news, remember I said something about that house at 8th and Broad, about a half block from Boo's day care. Well, I saw a sign on the door and Gak checked it out today. It's going up for Sheriff's Auction on the 9th. Now I'm really kicking myself for not looking into this house for real earlier. I also wonder what I'd need to do to get in on this auction and if I'd actually be able to secure a loan in time. Then I wake up and realize that everyone will be wanting in on this house in this market and it may not be a steal after all. And the fact that we're more or less living paycheck to paycheck as it is.
There, I said it. We're broke. And it pisses me of. I mean, I make half decent money. Gak makes more than enough to pay the utilities, his school loan and day care and still have some left over. But, I think I have about $200.00 to my name in the savings account and that's it. (Other than my 401(k) at work, but I try very hard not to think about that as "my" money... at least not yet... and this was the first quarter where I've lost less money than I've put into it in about 1.5 years now.)
Ok. I didn't mean to turn this happy post into a money rant. I just can't seem to get away from it these days. It haunts my every waking (and non-sleeping for that mater) moment. If only I could just wipe the slate clean of the money we owe for the truck and being stupid with credit, I'd free up about $600 a month. And that, my friends is the difference between renting and owning. Hopefully in less than a year I'll free up about $350 a month by paying off the truck so I can get rid of our other debt more quickly. At least I'm school loan free.

Bah, I'm going to go play with some yarn or something happy.

Peace to all and may your miracles in life continue to amaze you.