Well, I won’t say today is going well. I won’t say that yesterday wasn’t productive. I will say that I’m frustrated and upset and angry and all kinds of other negative emotions. I’m having a very hard time responding to everything that’s going on in a rational, detached way. I’ve gotten some help from some friends, but in general, it all comes down to me. I’ve got to actually respond to things in a professional and adult manner. I can’t go throwing temper tantrums because life isn’t going my way. Life won’t go your way all the time.
I think what bothers me the most is the suddenness of this. There really wasn’t any “we’re going to have to ask you to start traveling again in a month or two, which is before your son’s first birthday”. There was no, “we think the training is beginning to suffer, what can we do to help make it better”. Nope, none of that. Just WAHM “You must travel NOW! The training is a disaster and it’s all your fault! You’re not doing your job and how dare you attempt to put your family first!”
It does turn out I do have at least a bit of a legal leg to stand on. Back in 1998 Congress passed something that essentially says an employer can’t do anything to discourage breast feeding before the baby turns 1. (New Mothers' Breastfeeding Promotion and Protection Act of 1998 (Introduced in House) ) In reality, I haven’t asked for everything that the law allows me. I didn’t demand a place specifically just for me to pump. I admit, I did ask, but after getting an embarrassed stammering from the business leader, I didn’t push the issue and resolved to take care of it myself. I’ve been working through most of my lunch to offset the time I spend pumping. I haven’t even been storing milk in the fridge and forcing people to see it or even know I’ve been pumping. I keep everything in a discreet little lunch bag. (Of course, part of this is due to the fact if I put things in the fridge, I’d more than likely forget to take it home…) I haven’t even complained that where I pump I have to have a battery operated one because there is no power outlet. I’m trying not to make this a burden on anyone but myself.
I just have to figure out a way to respond thoughtfully, intelligently and stand my ground, but not be forceful or belligerent. I’m not sure I know how to do that.
This post has been languishing in unfinished form long enough. Maybe I’ll get my thoughts together enough to make sense tomorrow.
In other, happy news, Boo managed to not only figure out how to pick up and eat some little puff cereal treat thingies last night, but manage to pull himself to stand by grabbing Gak’s hands. Yes, I’m impressed. Yes, there are new pictures on the Flickr, but since I’m at work and the originals are at home… no post picture.
Peace to all and may your work life not suck.