Thursday, August 21, 2008

Getting Better

Well, this is how I've seen my son the most this week. Maybe not with the dino resting his chest on Boo, but still, this is the view I get the most. Yep, I get to watch my son sleep.
I will freely admit that this has been very hard on me. I love my son. I really love spending lots of awake time with Boo. I mean, sure, I like having the adult interactions of work and a little bit of time away isn't a bad thing. But I miss the smiles, the giggles and babbling coos. I miss the closeness of nursing, even if I don't always enjoy it. (It's still a ton better than pumping... I'll get to that later...)

This, of course, is how I'd rather see my boy. Playing and interacting with the world. (This picture is actualy from about two weeks ago, shortly after we got the Bumbo...)

I'm getting used to this. My head accepts the fact that I need to go to work to help keep this family afloat financially. My heart still hates the idea, but keeps it's grumblings to a minimum. Usually only around bed time and first thing in the morning.

I'm very happy with his day care situation. Or at least about as happy as I can be without it being me in the mornings, Gak or Gramma Sue in the afternoons. Or the reverse of that, I really don't care. But that's an almost ideal world. (In an ideal world I could stay home with Boo full time, except maybe an afternoon a week to go do something with other adult type people and no little ones... or with enough little ones that they could play and the adults could hang out.) I keep feeling better and better about my day care. I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, but I figured out where I "knew" Loretta from. I'd probably run into her a handful of times at various scout things. Also, two of the 3-and-unders are her grandsons. The younger of the two is only about 2 months older than Boo. I'm sure they'll become friends and get into all kinds of trouble together. At least I hope they become friends. Like I've said before, friends are important.

Other than Tuesday, I've actually had some good awake time with Boo. I've gotten a few giggles and a coo or two. No where near what I was getting before, but I'll treasure what I can get.

So, I'm not feeling as bad as I was the other night. I was going to post last night, but my computer was being slow and cranky and I just wanted to go to bed so just shut everything down.

Note to self: remember to reset the flash setting on the camera before leaving it with Gak. If not, these are the kinds of pictures we end up with. Very cool in an artsy way, but not really good for showing off that beautiful face of his.
Work has been going fairly well this week. I'm almost getting things done. I was fairly productive today. I could have actually closed a ticket, except for the fact the person I needed to confirm everything with had left for the day already. I spent a couple of hours chasing my tail on another issue as well. Oh, and did I mention I've got to get a training seminar written by the end of next week?
That and I've had "adventures" with pumping at work. I'm currently using my former boss's office. There's no one in there, there's a fairly comfortable chair and a desk. (Not to mention a million things just lying around that he left behind...) I'm hoping no one gets put into that office any time soon. I can't really use the bathroom because there's no chair other than the toilet and there's no lid on that... and there really isn't a place to set anything either. I also haven't been able to get as much each time as I had before going back to work. I don't know if it's the stress of being back to work, being away from Boo so much or just that the pump isn't that effective. I'm doubting it is the third, because I used to be able to get 6 or so oz each side session, but now I can barely get 12 ounces total for both sides and two sessions. I've been able to keep up because I've cut his bottles back to 3.5 oz. (He seems satisfied with 4 of those instead of 4 4 oz bottles throughout the day...) I also have been pumping an hour or two after Boo goes to bed and since he's only been feeding off one side in the morning, I pump the other side. I'm hoping things will get better in a week or two once this really becomes routine. That or I have to figure out some way to keep my production up during the week. He gets plenty all weekend and is happy. (And I can even manage to get a bottle or two ahead...)
Anyhow, I'm sure that was way more information than some people wanted or needed to know. Oh well. You know me, I tell it like I see it.
I'm going to get off of here now. I'd like to get a chance to talk with Michelle (who Gak's on the phone with) before I go to bed and a few other things too.
Peace to all and may you find a comfortable routine.

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