Friday, December 09, 2011


I have an update, of sorts, on Joan.  It's a one line message Kat got from Joan's sister Jill yesterday.  "Joan woke up."  That's it.  That's all Kat or I know.  We don't know if it just means she's conscious, but not off the vent.  Is she breathing on her own?  Eating and drinking?  Moving about?  We don't know if she's leaving ICU or if she's still there or anything.

I'm trying very hard not to turn this into an airing of family drama, but it's been eating at me all day.

I'll try and explain why Kat and I have no information as best I can without totally being mean, rotten, or nasty.  But I warn you, I'm kinda tired.  Worked my tail off all day getting almost nowhere with work.  And to top it off, I started off the day thinking it was Saturday and had that illusion rudely taken away at 6:00 this morning when I realized it was, indeed, Friday.

The first thing you have to understand is that "drama queen" isn't quite the right word for every person in Joan's family, but it's a start.  They're all liars to one extent or another.  They all change alliances between themselves faster than some people change underwear.  And you never, ever, ever know who's going to stab who in the back next over something real or imaginary.  I can't tell you the number of times Joan has told me/us about Jill's "lies" and "actions" and how she's never going to talk to her ever again and then suddenly the very next breath practically Jill is the "best sisser in teh world!"

(As an aside, am I the only one that is driven nuts when adults, with children even!, post on facebook things that I would expect, and seriously question, a teenager to post?  I mean, my spelling is bad, my grammar sometimes takes a bit of a vacation, but at least most of the time I use a real sentence!  It is not cute or funny or "hip" to post like your teenage daughter, it's sad, downright sad.  Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system as well...)

And the sad part isn't that all three girls are this way.  Their mother was the exact same way.  She started it, manipulated it and created the "rules" of the "game" in many ways.  (I know I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but, I've always had a hard time finding something positive about that woman...)  No, what is sad is the fact that the next generation is turning out to be the same way.  I hate to say it, but over the last two years I've slowly stopped knowing Mel.  She's becoming more and more like her mother and grandmother all the time.  I now have no idea if/when she's lying to me.  (I do know she's been in the neighborhood more than once in recent months and has never mentioned it/asked to see me/us.)  Ant and his cousins are totally out of hand more often than not.  Especially if you don't give him his way.  I've seen him throw more impressive temper tantrums than I've ever seen out of Boo!

So, last Thursday when we (Kat, Steph, Jill and I) were all at the hospital talking, Jill was saying how she wanted the kids down here.  That she would keep us informed as to what was going on.  Thought we had everyone's best interest at heart.  She was also saying how she'd pulled away and had distanced herself from the bull that is Joan's life and that she didn't want to but she'd have to go and play "the game" to make sure everything worked out OK for the kids.  Well, turns out she was blowing smoke up our butts.



So, like I told Kat last night, I'm not sure what makes me more sad, that we've been lied to and cut out yet again or that we were gullible enough to believe something one of those girls told us again.

In short, the hospital can't tell us anything because we're not family.  And the family won't tell us anything because they're too dysfunctional.
Kat and I have been yanked around yet again.

I really didn't want to write such a negative post.  Yes, I can delete it and never let it see the light of day.  I may do that later, I don't know.  But, for now, since I've had people asking if I have an update, this is how I want to write about it, so deal.  I have not hurt anyone who has not hurt me (multiple times) already.  I have not used last names (or even real names for all you know) or towns or hospital names or anything that could identify these people to the masses unless you already know me, or them, in real life.  And, if you know these people, or me, in real life then more than likely I haven't told you anything new.  So, for now I'm going to let this stand.  If someone gets mad at me for it, so be it.  You asked my opinion, and I gave it.

Peace to all and may your updates be positive and your friends be positive as well.

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