Thursday, July 19, 2007

Warning: Rant Ahead!

I'm really beginning to think that this is a week of Mondays.
Monday was just one of those unproductive days, Tuesday was only a little better. Yesterday was just oh-so-fun.
I had a conference call at 9am. I had a web meeting set up so I could demo a system for a customer. The long and the short of it is that nothing was working right for either the web or the call itself. Then I get yelled at by a guy a few cubes down for talking too loud. I'm sorry, but I'm not on the phone all that often and most of the time you can't hear me. I was talking to someone on speaker phone (at least I didn't have them on speaker on this end too...) and they couldn't hear me unless I talked loud. Whenever this guy is on the phone, I can hear almost every blessed word of every blessed conversation. And it's not often about work either.
The rest of the day went OK, I guess. I'm just sooo frustrated with everything else. I had to tell a customer that no, there is no training available until October. (And now, they're complaining loudly...) I can't stay on top of the bills no matter how hard I try. I admit, I haven't been trying all that hard because I'm just too overwhelmed. What I wouldn't do for a full-time accountant. Forward all the bills to them, let them write the checks or whatever, get me to sign them once a week and be done with it. Maybe then I'd be able to save more than $50. Maybe then I wouldn't be waking up in the middle of the night panicking that I haven't payed this, that or the other... wondering where the money will come from. I'm not making minimum wage, far more than that really. I shouldn't be having these issues!! I keep looking at what we buy and do, and I can't figure out where it's all going to. I mean, I know a lot of it is paying for old credit card debt that I accumulated when moving. About a third of my monthly take-home goes to rent. If you figure you should be spending around 25% or less on rent, then we would have to be back at the old place, paying all of $620/month. It doesn't help that rent increased $25 a month this year. I'm not factoring Gak's pay into this, he covers gas and electric and his own student loans and gives me grocery money as he can. That's plenty to be asking of from his pay. I shouldn't be taking it all away to pay the bills. He deserves to spend a little on himself too. According to my math, I should have about $500 a month for food, gas and fun stuff. Mind you, gas is around $200-250 a month for the guzzling Durango and food is about $200-300 a month. Well, I guess that answers where the money is going and why I can't get ahead.
I was hoping it was me spending extravagantly on yarn or something that I could cut easily. I mean, I could just sell the Durango and get a more fuel effecant car right? Well, I could, but we'd be very hard pressed to find one we could afford that Gak can still drive. I mean, I can drive a little Honda Civic (loved the old blue one...), but Gak can barely fit comfortably for long as a passenger in one, let alone try and drive it. I guess we could subsist on peanut butter and white bread, but I think, as much as Gak likes PB and Fluff, I'd have a mutiny on my hand sooner or later. I could cancel the TV, but then we'd get absolutely no TV reception and that wouldn't help things any. I could make Gak and me stop playing the game, but that's only $30 a month, not much to sneeze at. I'm sure our online friends would understand but would be very, very unhappy. (That and we'd both go insane from not having that as a stress relief...) I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it all better. It won't be any time soon. Not until I can get the old credit card crap under control (don't even use them any more...) and the truck payed off. Got about 2 years on the truck, probably more on the cards and about a year or two on the school loan yet.
OK. I totally didn't mean to turn this into a rant about money. I guess it's been what's on my mind the most lately. It's been a very down few weeks after the AC incident and I just can't wait to get that behind us.
Hopefully the rest of the day will be going better. Maybe I'll be able to get out of this funk and put it all behind me for now. (Until I check the mail and just see all those bills again...)
Peace to all and may your worries be few.


Chelsea said...

How tall is Gak, anyway? Michael is 6'5" and he fits in the back seat of our Prius just fine. His dream car was a Dodge Viper, until he got the chance to sit in one at the Mall of America several years ago. It was a convertible version, and when he sat down, the top of the windshield came just about to the level of his nose. So much for that little dream...

p.s. I just have to say, cutting out the extra yarn budget isn't what I'd call "easy"! ;)

Addey said...

Gak is 6'7", so a good 2" taller than Michael. It's not so much the head room that we usually have the trouble with, it's getting the seat far enough back that he can drive....
(and yes, I'd love a Prius... I've driven one for a week and it was great!)
I do agree about the whole yarn thing... luckilly mosts of the things I make I use 'normal' everyday acrylic for. I'm not that much of a yarn snob, mostly because of availability and funds.