Thursday, August 27, 2009


That's how many years Gak and I have been married as of today.
I can't believe it's been this long, I can't believe it's only been 4 years. Where has the time gone? Where will the time go?
I really wanted to post a nice long post thanking my dear, wonderful husband for everything over the past four and more years and to look forward to the rest of our lives. I just don't have it in me today. It's not that I don't love Gak or have anything wonderful to say, it's just not writing itself today.
Today I'm still too caught up in the little details and day-to-day stresses. The good news being that the ceiling is ready for paint, and hopefully tomorrow the bathroom will be painted. The other good news is that we'll be getting the kitchen and dining room painted while we're away next month. And we get to choose a color too. (I'm looking at an almost yellow if you look hard enough for both rooms. It'll go with the blue that's already in the kitchen and the furniture we've got in the dining room and will be light and bright... think home made lemon ice with no food coloring.) There are plumbers in the apartment again to fix the pipe under the kitchen sink. (it was replaced a year or two ago now and at some point became dented... don't ask me, I barely put anything down there or even pay attention to the pipes.) That and they're replacing the rest of the pipes that weren't done a few weeks back. Thankfully everyone is at work/daycare all day.
I'm still extremely frustrated about work, but I have a meeting next week (my mid-year (ha!) review) with my boss... maybe I'll be able to hash something out then. I plan on having what I want outlined before I head into the meting. I'm still frustrated about money, or the lack there of. Having only one vehicle is beginning to wear on me a bit too. Especially since yesterday I had to wake Boo from a nap to go pick up Gak. That and it just makes it so hard for me to try and find something to do one evening a week out of the house. (Not that I can afford to do anything... but.... with two cars I'd probably be able to leave Boo with Gak at work for 15-20 minutes if I had to in order to go somewhere.) I'm frustrated with feeling like we've got to stay in this apartment because no matter where we move, it would probably require a second car and that would negate any savings of moving. I hate the fact that I don't even dare ask the price of the house on the corner of 8th and Broad both for fear it's way too high and way too low. I just can't bring myself to take out a mortgage when I have absolutely nothing to put down. That's just not sane. (And until I got my 401(k) statement recently, I'd thought a safer place for my money just might be a loan against it to put down on a house... but I actually made money this quarter!)

So, yes, as much as I want to dedicate this post to the wonderful man that is my husband, I just don't have the glowing outlook on life to do it right now. As much as I love everyone and everything I have in my life, there's too much little shit getting in the way right now and I don't know how to get out from under it.

I'd better get back to work before I get yelled at again. I'm very good at getting yelled at these days.

Peace to all and may you be able to see the forest for the trees. (And have the most wonderful people in your life.)

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