Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Nearing Year's End

Well, I guess December hasn't been meant to be a blogging month for me.  I'd chalk it up to holiday craziness, except there really wasn't any.  I guess, like many this year, I just wasn't "feeling it" so much.  Anyhow, hopefully I'll have a more in depth look at the year and my thoughts on it tomorrow.  Today I just want to try and catch up on the goings on since Christmas, and there've been several.
Saturday after dropping Gak off at work, Boo and I traveled down to Ikea to meet up with Cybele.  The roads were kinda ick, it was raining and cold and gray.  But, Ikea was doing a free breakfast, so that's a plus!  The best part was getting to see Cybele for the first time in many years.  I'm not sure exactly when the last time we got together was, which is sad.  We sat and ate and talked and laughed for almost 2 hours.  Boo was a very good, very cute little boy through all of this.  No, I don't have any pictures. *sigh*.  Cybele is doing well and is about to head out on another adventure for work this spring/summer.  I'm sure it'll be interesting and she'll have a lot of fun, but it sounds like a lot of work too.  Hopefully after she gets back, maybe the end of September, we'll take the train down to DC for the day and hang out.  That way Gak will get a chance to meet her too.  Cybele really hasn't changed a whole lot over the years, she's still my speed-talking wonderful friend.
Sunday was a bit of a cranky day for Boo.  I'm not sure why, but he was just a little off.  I'm thinking the events of the past few days were still a bit overwhelming to him, and the lack of nap on Friday and Saturday was still looming.  (He didn't really nap Saturday either, only about 20-30 minutes in the car on the way home from Ikea...)  We eventually got him to nap a bit, which was good for everyone involved.
The best part of the day is the fact that Amma came up in the afternoon to watch Boo, since she was going to be spending the night and watching him all day Monday, so Gak and I could go to the movies and dinner.  My gift to Gak this year was $20 to the Rave movie theater.  We went and saw Avatar in 3D.  It was a wonderful movie.  I've since seen/read some comments saying how it's nothing but a tree-hugging, humans are evil, Bush and the Iraq war is evil plot to take over the minds of the youth.  Yeah, OK, so there were a few jabs at the former President.  Yeah, there's a very strong environmental message.  But seriously?  You can't see beyond the present to the deeper messages?  Like Gak said, and also one of the guys who works next door to him said, it's "Dances with Wolves meets Sci-fi."  The deepest message I got out of it was to know who you're dealing with, and that goes for all parties involved.  Don't assume that what "we" want is what "they" want.  Also, in this case, yeah, humans are the evil ones.  They were the "invaders".  I mean, lets's look at Independence Day or War of the Worlds or any other science fiction flick that involves aliens.  They come to Earth, try and take over and we kick their butts.  In this case, humans go to another world, try to take over and get out butts handed to us.  Does that make humans evil?  No.  Misguided maybe, egotistical, yes, but not evil.  Bah, enough of the soap box, that's not what I'm hear to do this morning.
The effects were spectacular.  The plot captivating.  The characters may have been a bit shallow and one-sided, but that's OK.  I would have loved to see some more "behind the scenes" story, but then the thing would have been about 10 hours long.  I'd love to see the "book" for this that can go into all the background and the inner struggles and flesh out the characters more.  I think movie characters, purely by the time limits placed on them, end up being shallow no matter what.  We don't have the luxury of spending several hundred pages reading their inner thoughts and seeing history through their eyes on the movie screen like we would with a book.  In short, this is one movie I would gladly pay to see in the theater again, and I don't say that very often at all.
Monday Boo played with Amma all day and yesterday he got to go over to Aunt Kat's and play with his cousins Zoe, Mel and Ant.  Kat had to work, but Grammy was there and so was Uncle Andy since his store is closed on Tuesdays.  Today is actually the only day that Boo will be in day care this week, since Gak has off tomorrow (I don't *sigh*).  This means that next week will be really tough for him.  I feel for the ladies, I really do.

Due to some things both at home and work I've been dealing with "I'm a failure" a lot the last several days.  I know you'll say I'm not because I've got a great husband and a terrific son and I've got my job and all that stuff.  But, I'm definitely far from the best I could be.  I mean, there's no such thing as perfect, but there is a lot closer then where I am right now.  I think a lot of it is that I'm feeling very overwhelmed by a lot of things.  I've never been a good house keeper, and I've more than let that get away from me.  We're winding down the year and heading towards annual reviews and I'm just having a hard time seeing the positives of my year at work.  I haven't been the best Momma I can be to my son (or at least I feel that way).  Maybe I'm just saying that because he's going through a "not eating anything" week.  Or at least not eating anything "good" other than fruit and milk.  I realize that I never make enough time for my wonderful and patient husband.  Everyone deserves better from me; work, my mom, my friends and most especially my son and husband... and myself.  I need to treat myself better too.  Will it happen in 2010?  Who knows.  All I know is that I can try and focus on one small thing at a time and not let this thing called life overwhelm me and make me shut down in general. It's going to be tough though, I'm too used to trying to be everything to everyone and failing miserably.

Ok, enough of the downer.  It's time for me to wrap this up, get my butt in gear and out the door.  2 more days this week and a mountain of work to get through before reporting month starts.  I'm so not looking forward to any of this.

Peace to all and may your weekends be good, your family wonderful and your hearts happy.

No comments: