Tuesday, July 19, 2011

When It Rains, It Pours?

Well, up until yesterday, this past week has been pretty uneventful.  I mean, sure, the weather has become hotter than anything I care to think about.  Reporting month stress has been pretty high because we've been inundated with a lot of non-reporting related calls along with the normal reporting work load.  The vent fan in the Durango decided to stop working all together (but the A/C works, just nothing moving the air.  *sigh*) and the rear gears of my bike decide to start slipping.  That's all just normal, every day kind of aggravation.

Then, yesterday I get a text from Gak saying our son said his mouth hurt and he didn't want to eat.  By the time I got home, he was a pretty sad little fellow.  Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, we've figured it's Hand, Foot and Mouth disease.  Nothing fatal, just really annoying.  Thankfully it's only his mouth and even more thankfully he doesn't have a fever.  That's the only reason they let him stay at day care today.  It turns out he picked it up from his best buddy there, Dominic.  I just hope none of the other kids get it.  I'd feel really awful about it if they did.  This is our second bout of it in the last 6 to 8 months I think, and if it's the same this time, in about 3-5 more days he'll be OK.
But, this is just a small, but painful and sad annoyance.

No, the big problems all involve my friend Joan.  Unfortunately, I can't really go into this without airing some dirty laundry I'm not really proud of.  My thoughts have not all been charitable towards her and her decisions with this issue.  For the moment I'm going to try and set aside our difference of opinions on many, many issues.  I'm going to try and set aside the fact that I wish she'd at least walk the walk, not just talk the talk, even if I don't agree with her talk.  This is bigger than that.
In more ways than one.
You see, Joan is a big girl.  A very big girl.  Larger than I ever was by far.  And while I've gone the "natural" weight loss route and made small changes to my eating habits over time and worked more and more activity back into my life, Joan decided to go a more radical route.  And, well, since she's got a lot more weight than I do to loose, I can't blame her for wanting a quicker fix to the problem.  Yes, Joan decided months ago to have bypass surgery.  I won't lie.  I've been arguing with myself to be supportive of her decision.  She's taking an active role in her life, and wants to change it for the better.  But, I just can't help feeling this is all a cop-out and she's looking for this to be a quick fix for all of her problems, weight related and not.  Without the motivation to truly change the mind as well as the body, this is destined for failure.
That is, if the surgery ever happens.
She was scheduled for surgery yesterday.  She went to the hospital as she was supposed to and they were getting her ready.  They'd started to put her under with some gas and then went to lie her on her back for the operation.  Her lungs spammed.  The muscles have become very weak.  They had to intubate her and gave her muscle relaxants, pan and anti-anxiety meds.  They've admitted her to ICU.  Her blood pressure was in the basement and her pulse rate high.  Hopefully she's off the vent now.  (They were going to keep her on it for 24 hours, to be safe.)  I haven't heard anything since this morning.  She'll be in the hospital two or three more days.  They may try surgery again in 4-6 weeks after some more tests (including an MRI once she's unhooked from the tubes) and possibly some pre surgery treatments of some kind.  (Personally, I don't think it's such a good idea to more forward with this, but this is for her and her doctors to decide...)
So, yeah.  That's bad enough.
To make matters worse, Joan's mom was taken to the hospital (not the one Joan's at, thankfully in many ways...) yesterday morning.  Getting the information third hand from Mel Bell (she got it from her aunts who were there, but I don't trust one at all and the other can be a bit flaky too...) Joan's mom is not long for the world.  She's had many, many complications to her health.  (Of course, a lot has been exacerbated with her own doing... I mean, come on, still smoking while you're on oxygen?!?!)  She's had to be restrained and drugged.  She had to be put on CPAP.  Her CO2 was at least 70-something yesterday, and by last night or this morning it might have been as high as 90!  So, yes, this just adds to the issues.
Oh, and Anthony is at camp and Mel is at a neighbors'.  Don't get me started in that whole little drama involving Kat, the kids and the power of attorney that Joan signed years ago now.  I don't remember or know all the details, so I'm going to leave well enough alone.  Once the dust all settles from the current crisis I'll see what's what and who needs what as far as growling.  Right now, we need to make sure that Mel Bell is OK, that Joan gets feeling better soon and that her mom holds on long enough for Joan to get out of the hospital.

Like I said, when it rains, it pours.  I'm just thankful that Joan's sisters actually did take care of her mom like they were supposed to while Joan was at the hospital.  I'm extra thankful that Joan was at the big hospital she was at, not a small local one.  (Yes, I love small, local hospitals for many reasons, but in this case, it probably would not have been such a good thing and she would have ended up at the bigger one anyhow, possibly in worse shape.)  I'm extra thankful that things went wrong before the operation started, that would have been even more of a disaster.  I'm also thankful that Mel has a support system in all of us and that this time, she's actually used it a bit.  (I hadn't herd from her voluntarily in months, which hurt a lot, but isn't part of this post.)

Anyhow, this is where I'm going to wrap this up.  I'll post again with more information as I get it and decide there's enough to post.  Mostly, I wanted to get this out there to try and muddle through the mixed up emotions roiling around in my head.  About how part of me wants to say "I told you so", and part of my is worried sick about Mel and that I really do hope Joan is OK and that maybe, just maybe, this will wake her up a bit and get her moving in a healthy direction....

So, peace to you all and may your troubles be small and few.


Flauta Mom said...


Just take a deep breath and try to be supportive --I know, hard, very hard, but as long as for the time being you keep the comments to yourself you can give a hug or two and be there for them.


And poor S, it sucks that he got it again.

Addey said...

I try, I really do try and bite my tongue. I'm surprised I have one left really... Like I said, I tried not to get too much into the dirty laundry, but I knew some would fly...