Anyhow, yesterday was Veteran's day. Those who serve their country should get more than Memorial Day in the spring to remember the fallen and Veteran's day in the fall to thank those who have served. I'm sorry, but these men and women put so much on the line every stinking day. In this country, they don't have to do it. At least not currently, since there is no draft. (That's a whole different topic... in this day and age why do young men at age 18 have to register, but women don't? I thought we had an equal opportunity armed services... oh, wait... never mind.... I won't ask if you don't tell.....)
Anyhow, back closer to my topic. The people who willingly serve our country get little pay and even less thanks for doing it. That's just not right. I mean, we shouldn't turn into a military state where the military is king, but we should give these people a little more thanks, or at least tell them a little more often. I know I'm remiss in this myself. I take their service for granted.
I'm not even going to go into the whole Ft. Hood thing, other than to say that the one place on Earth our service men and women and their families should feel safe is on our own American soil. I don't have all the details (barely any really), but this was a horrible event and it saddens me.
So, with yesterday being Veteran's Day and working for a company that actively recruits vets and tries to treat them well, I had the day off yesterday. Well, off from work. You never get a day off from being Momma. And, I like it that way.
Unfortunately yesterday was a bit of a gray day, so Boo and I couldn't really go anywhere in the afternoon since I'm broke and the only good "free" things are outside. Yes, we could have gone to the library, but he's still in a bit of a book destroying phase, so I don't really want him destroying books I haven't payed for yet. Don't get me wrong, he loves being read to right now, but they're still pretty yummy and don't always bend the way he wants them to. But, Boo didn't mind a low key day at home. But having spent an entire day at home just me and the boy, I realize that this apartment really is way too small.
Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of room in general. We've got two nice sized bedrooms, a good sized living room, a dining room, kitchen and bathroom. But, there is no space just for Boo, other than his bedroom, and that's not very big all things considered. And even then there are things in his room he needs to stay out of, like the diaper pail. The living room is very nice, but very narrow. Therefore, as soon as he spills his blocks (a favorite game currently) you can't walk anywhere. And forget it if someone else is home and on the couch or a computer, suddenly the room seems half the size.
It's also a good thing that Boo didn't mind a low key day because his momma is exhausted. I'm trying to remember the last night I slept close to "right" and I can't. It had to have been a month or more ago now. And it's not that I'm not tired. I'm very tired. It isn't that I've got a billion things chasing themselves in circles in my head, most of the time I don't because I'm too tired to keep thoughts there that long. And no, it's not because I'm pregnant. I told you months ago now, we're not going to be trying again any time soon, just because of finances. If and when we can get those under control and/or get raises again, we'll see. (Besides, trying would require energy I just can't seem to find, much to both Gak's and my disappointment....) I just have been sleeping worse than usual. Take last night. I went to bed around 9, read about 3 pages barely, couldn't keep my eyes open, so I turned off the light. I promptly lay there for the next 3 hours just on the edge of sleep, you know, that warm fuzzy area where you're not really awake and aware of the passage of time, but you know you're not asleep yet. Yep, I heard Gak get off the computer and come to bed and I thought it was way too early, but it was midnight. Then the tossing and turning resumed a bit and the sleeping for an hour or so and waking up started. No reason. I wasn't feeling anxious about anything or like I'd forgotten something or worried or anything like that. I didn't wake up wheezing or not breathing or coughing or anything physical either. Nope, just woke up like most people would in the morning when they don't have an alarm waking them.
And this wasn't the first night of this. I can deal with the occasional bad night. I can even deal with two or three of them in a row. But, I can't remember a night in recent history where I've slept more than 2 hours at a shot and haven't had a period where I've woken up every 10-15 minutes for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. It really is beginning to wear me down. Oh well. I've got a doctor's appointment next month (two actually, my semi-annual allergy/asthma/whatever's bothering me and my other, less fun annual appointment as well....). I'll add this to the things I want to talk to Dr. F. about. So far it's the fact that I haven't taken my allergy or asthma meds since the end of September and I really haven't noticed a difference, the sleep thing and something else that I'm forgetting... bah! I need a list. (I'm still not always 100% sold on the asthma label.... but, there are times I just can't breathe right, but it seems more upper respiratory than lower.... and it doesn't seem like wheezing more of an inability to get air to move.)
And, speaking of doctor's appointments, that reminds me that I have to do my annual enrollment at work. I actually have to do it this year. They're getting rid of our current plans and replacing our HMO like thing with a more "traditional" type of coverage. Or, to me, what feels more like car insurance than health insurance. Now, instead of knowing exactly what I have to pay when I go to the doctor (my nice $15 or $30 copay) I have no idea what the bill will be. And, supposedly, I won't have to pay at that point in time, but at a later date. Certain things are covered 100% from the beginning, like some tests, well child visits, annual checkups, most vaccines and the like. But, the rest we have to pay out of pocket (including meds...) until we reach a deductible for the year and then it goes to an 80/20 split (with me paying the 20) until an "out of pocket maximum" is reached, and then everything is covered 100%. There are three different levels of paycheck deduction and therefore max out of pocket expenses. I'm still not 100% sure which one to choose. I know not the lowest ones because we do actually have recurring health problems/issues. So, that leaves the two highest ones. Some years, like this year, we could do just fine with the middle level, but some years like 2008 when I was pregnant, we really need the higher coverage. I think what confuses me the most is that in the end, there is a $20 difference between the out of pocket expenses for the two. Oh well. I've been thinking I'll play it "safe" and choose the highest paycheck deductible one and spend the extra $20 a year. I have a 17-month old son, who knows what kind of trouble he's going to get into this year.
Well, it looks like I did have another novel waiting to be written. Oops. It's not as long as some though. But, it is just about time for me to hop in the shower and get my butt out the door to work. (Which has been it's own adventure lately, but I'm just going to keep most of that to myself.... I'm just thinking that this really isn't such a great fit any more and I need to find something else, but am too terrified to in this economy/with as long as I've been at this one job...)
So, peace to you all and may you sleep well and have fun days with your family.