Monday, August 27, 2007


I want to take this opportunity to tell the world how much I truly love my husband. It was two years ago today that we wed. He is the light of my life and the smile of my heart. Gak truly means the world and then some to me. He's my support when I need him and my constant source of strength and determination.
Today has not quite turned out the way I wanted it to. We were supposed to be going out to dinner tonight and celebrating. Celebrating not only 2 years of marriage, but the start of a new life. I found out just over 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant. Yes, that's right, there's going to be a new cub in April.
If everything is OK, and I'm not sure it is.
I woke up today to some heavy spotting and my Dr. isn't very happy with how things look. He hasn't ruled out that everything will be OK, but he doesn't like the way things look. The doctor is not giving up, but I'm having a hard time with hoping.
Waking up Gak to tell him that I think there's a problem is now how I intended on spending my anniversary. He was so brave and so supportive though, sticking with me without question, holding me or my hand at all times. We're both terrified. We want this baby so badly.
I may know something as soon as Wednesday when I have blood work drawn again... only to get onto an airplane. I've got another Dr. appointment next Tuesday. This is going to be the longest week of my life I think.
I promise to keep everyone in the loop. I'm sorry I didn't call you first mom, but I knew you were busy taking care of Gram today and I don't want to tell her until something is positive one way or the other. The news of this will devastate her. This also not the way I planned on announcing my pregnancy. Tomorrow was supposed to be my first appointment, but that won't be. I was going to announce things then.
I'm sorry, I'm not thinking too clearly right now, my emotions are in a whirlwind and I can't help but think about all the things that might not happen now. I'm trying to stay as positive as possible, but this is so scary. I have a wonderful husband who is fighting these demons right by my side. I couldn't ask for more than he's given me.
Peace to all and keep good thoughts.


Gakumm said...

I love you my dear wife, always remember that.

Chelsea said...

I'm holding you and Gak in my thoughts today. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.