I've been trying to write this post for a few weeks now.
You'd think this post would be easy.
You see, I start a new job tomorrow.
And, yes, it's a job I actually want and am excited about.
But, and there's always a but, it's also going to be adding challenges to our life, even while helping with the whole money thing. My new job is about 45 minutes away. And it looks like, at least at first, I'll be doing 9 - 5:30, so that'll add a whole new bit of chaos when it comes to Boo and picking up from daycare. But, thanks to friends/family, it seems to all be sorted.
And then there's the whole time that I'm loosing with Boo-boy. I'm not sure how I was expecting to feel, but it wasn't quite this. I mean, remember back a year ago when I was railing about feeling useless in my own home and like an intruder and that this stay-at-home mom thing was both more and less than it was cracked up to be. Well, I've changed my mind. Even with Boo in school now, I really don't want to trade my time with him for anything, even though it means I'll still be able to put food on the table and pay the rent and all that kind of mandatory thing. I'm going to miss walking him to school, picking him up, working on homework with him in a relaxed way and having time together. If I could manage to get a job that pays as much as this one is (even though it's just about 2/3 of what I was making before...) and I was only working when he was in school or over night, I'd do it.
So, right now, until tomorrow or the end of the week or more likely the end of the month, but until I get settled into this new job, the excitement of this new adventure is strongly overshadowed by all the time I'm loosing with Boo.
And with Gak. Even though more mornings than average we'd be sitting at our own computers doing our own thing, we were together, we had the opportunity to do things together if we wished. It was nice just to be able to hang out with my husband.
So, yeah. This is both a very awesome thing and something that's weighing on my heart a bit. This will seriously take some adjusting and hopefully the growing pains won't hurt too bad.
So, yes, I'm excited and anxious about tomorrow, but I'm also a little sad. Despite all the stress over money and the whole job search thing in general, it was a pretty good 13 months overall.
Peace to all and may your new adventures be grand and your hearts not be heavy.