Guilt?

I'm not 100% sure why this is on my mind. Maybe it's the heat keeping me from going for a walk with Boo. Maybe it's the semi-isolation that I feel sometimes because none of my friends have ones this young or are around during the day for me to just hang out with. Maybe it's because my time home is coming to a close.

Or it could be a bit of all of it.

Last night I was feeling very guilty.

It was about 9:15 and Boo was being a little fussy, but not eating and having nothing to do with wanting to go to bed. (I somewhat blame myself for that one... he had a couple of very long naps yesterday and I didn't really try and keep him awake between too much...) Since I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. (The night before had been a 2-hour night starting at about 2am...) I had the lights off in his room, except for one of the torches. I had the music on. He would almost fall asleep when I was rocking him, but then wake up. Like I said, I was tired. So I put him in his swing and left the room.

He didn't cry.

He was wide awake and looking around a bit.

But I wasn't there.... not even just sitting in the rocker watching him.

By about 9:45 he fell asleep, or mostly asleep. I put him into his bed, and he woke up a bit. But, again, I walked away after I swaddled him.

It's not that I didn't want to snuggle with him. Or that I don't love him and cherish every moment we have together.

I was tired. I wanted him to go to sleep so I could.

Yes, Gak was home and I could have left the boys together. But Gak had a very bad day at work (involving no Internet connection and bad tech support...) And besides, I'm not sure I would have felt any less guilty for "saddling" my husband with his son that I would have felt for letting him fall asleep in his swing.

Like I said, Boo never complained, he made a few "meh?" sounds at me when I put him in his bed and was being a wiggle-worm. But he didn't cry or even make a face like he was about to cry. Why do I feel so guilty for taking advantage of my son's laid back attitude so I could get to bed earlier? (Not that it did much good... I may have been asleep by 10, but he was up at 3 or so and took about an hour to get to sleep again. (He didn't want to eat, he wanted to play... like I said, I think I let him nap too much yesterday during the day....)

Motherhood, it would seem, is full of guilt, even if no one says anything to make you feel guilty about a specific action. I'm sure someone told me that before, but I just wasn't listening and you really don't understand until you're faced with it. And the stupid part is, about 80% of it isn't real. There is nothing wrong with using the swing to soothe your little one to sleep. Although, no matter how many times you tell yourself that, you won't believe it.

There's guilt about letting them fall asleep in the swing, or parking them in the bouncy chair while they're content to check your email. There's guilt that you may be holding them too much or going to them too quickly when they start to cry. (I truly think that's a load of bull though... what's so wrong about comforting someone, anyone, when they're first upset?) There's guilt that by breast feeding you're depriving daddy of bonding time, but there's guilt if you formula feed that you're not giving your baby the best possible start. There's guilt if you go back to work and leave your kiddo with daycare, and just as much guilt for staying home to raise your children while your partner works to pay all the bills.

When, oh when, did being female mean being guilty. We're guilty of not asking for enough money when we take a job, but we're also guilty of "leaving" our family to work. We just can't win. And despite the best efforts of the Girl Scouts and other organizations, I don't think it will get any better until society as a whole sends one message to women and girls: Whatever you do in life, as long as it is your best, is right. Everyone is different. We all make different paths through life. I know men and boys get conflicting messages about how they're supposed to be and act, but not anywhere near as many or as often or from as many sources as women and girls.

Well, this has gotten philosophical enough. I've left Boo sleeping in his swing again, and he may be waking soon. I need to be the best Momma I can be and be there for him when he needs me... but I also need to let him be from time to time too...

Peace to all and may you not feel guilty just for living your life.

Hats

We have a hat problem in this house. Never mind that Momma has way more baseball caps than any one person needs. (Actually, I've gotten rid of several over the years... and *gasp* don't wear them that often any more...)
The problem is that my boy, like me, has a tiny head. I have to adjust caps as small as they go most of the time. I can actually wear some child sized hats. Boo, seems to have the same issue. I couldn't get the picture I wanted yesterday, he kept moving his head to try and dislodge the annoyance. This is one of three brimmed hats he has. All three fit just about like this. They are all "0-6 months" in size. His head has grown about an inch since he was born, and they are till too big.
One day soon he may fit them. Until then, I guess I need to either find smaller hats or try and make one. I made a few crochet caps before he was born. One fits, but is too short (I should have done another few rounds I think...). One is way too small, and I thought it would be anyhow. And one is a bit large and I can't get the "brim" to fold up right anyhow. They all became way, way too soft when I washed them and have no body. Normally you want things soft, but with hats, it helps if there's a little body to them to help keep their shape and keep them on.

Yesterday was a good, mellow day. We did the grocery shopping. Gak went to work and Boo and I just hung out a bit around the house. We did take a walk over to the park and back, but he was asleep by the time we got over there, so I wasn't even going to think of waking him to try the swing. (I'm not sure I like the infant swing there anyhow, I don't like the looks of the belt that keeps the kiddo in.)

Not sure what's on the plate today. Hopefully another mellow day. Stu may be coming over this evening, we shall see.

Well, I'd best get around before Boo wakes up again.

Peace to all and may your head gear fit.

Catchup

Sorry for the lack of both photo and written updates. It's been a busy weekend around here.

Friday and Saturday our friends Chris and Diane were having a yard sale and everyone was welcome to bring stuff to sell. Gak and I didn't get anything together, mostly because I can't get into the closet right now because of a mattress we've got shoved in there. That and my brain hurt too much to try and figure out what to get rid of.

Boo and I did go over and hang out for a good part of the day with Chris and Scott on Friday. Boo slept most of the morning, which was good. He'd done a three-wakeup night and I was a little tired. The weather was beautiful. Boo just hung out in his car seat with a blankie under the tarp. There was a nice breeze and it wasn't too hot or humid and the sun wasn't in his eyes. It was a nice morning for everyone.

Friday night we went out with Chris, Diane and Stu. There was a little baby girl at the next table over that was less than a week older than Boo. Boo discovered her when Diane took him so Gak could finish his supper. He couldn't tear his eyes off her. Of course, since we came home from the hospital, he really hasn't seen any other babies, just us old people. It was cute.

Saturday was a long day for Boo as well. We've started playing Magic in a "league" setting with Chris, Diane, Scott and Stu. We all started out with a starter pack and a couple of boosters. There was a new expansion last week so we got to add cards from that. We did it in the form of a "draft" Saturday morning from 4 boosters that we picked up Friday evening. That was fun. (Yes, I thought I'd gotten away from the cards years ago, but Chris was itching to play again and well... it's a hard game to give up totally... and we're having fun with this...).

I also went down to Skipack to the good yarn store. I was exchanging a ball of yarn I'd purchased for a different color and they were having their supper summer sale. I scored 7 balls of this pretty blue mostly cotton yarn that normally would have been about $50 for $10. I couldn't resist. I have no idea what I'm going to do with it, but... how could I turn a deal like that down? (I've been trying very hard not to just randomly buy yarn... especially since there just isn't that much money in the budget for it...)

We spent Saturday evening playing Magic with our friends and eating pizza. It was weird to be doing that again. Fun, but weird.

Today GrammaSue came up. We went and did laundry while Gak stayed home with Boo. This was the first time he'd done that for any length of time. It went well for the most part. Boo did cry for about the first hour, but then settled down, ate a good bit and had a good snuggle with his Poppa. Overall, not a bad time, but Boo will have to get used to spending his mornings with Gak and his afternoons without either of us. It'll take a little time, but we'll all adjust. (But, of course my heart breaks a little each time I think about it... especially if he's asleep in my arms at the time...)

We braved the thunder storm and went to Target and Friendlys this afternoon. Overall, it was a good day. Boo slept the night through Friday night, so of course that meant that last night was an "up every 2 hours" night. Oh well. Boo did get a lot of good Poppa time today. Although, I do feel quite guilty for handing Boo off to Gak so much today and yesterday evening. Gak didn't get a lot of time with him this week, so I'm sure he didn't mind too much, but I still feel like a bit of a slacker for it. (I know... I need time for me too... but... it's complicated with the heart-strings...)

That was a totally random paragraph. I'd best get to bed. Boo went to sleep at almost 9 exactly. Hopefully this means he won't be up before 3, maybe even 4 or 5 (but I'm not holding my breath...). This just means I've been up about a half-hour past my own bedtime and should get some sleep while I can.

Peace to all and may you have many fun adventures.

Ewwwww

Well, it finally happened. Boo had a gut-emptying puke... all over me. And of course we weren't at home. We were over at Chris and Dianne's. Luckily we were outside so no carpet to clean.
No crying, no warning, no nothing, just splat. It was pretty gross. I have no idea what brought it on. Gak had just finished feeding him a bottle. It was cool, but we had him wrapped in a blanket (the one Aunt Michelle made him). He wasn't fussy, he'd been good almost all evening. He ate all the bottle without any issues. He doesn't feel like he has a fever. He's been fine since and is sleeping quietly in his bed now.
Oh well. These things happen. It may have been the first, but I'm sure it won't be the last.
Other than that, it has been a pretty good couple of days. We didn't do a whole lot the last few days. Yesterday was gray and rainy at points. The highlight of today was going over to the Broadway Cafe for lunch.
The nights on the other hand... have been a little rough. Tuesday night he went to bed a little early but woke up twice during the night, about 2 hours apart. Gak did give him a bottle at 1:30, but because it takes so long to warm up a bottle, it took Boo about 1.5 hours to settle back down instead of eating and falling back asleep in about 20 minutes. This meant that Wednesday he slept a lot, so went to bed at almost 10. He woke up at 2, 4 and 6. I was not a happy Momma.
Luckily we got about a 1.5 hour nap from 9-10:30 this morning. It was a good day over all.
Well, of course until the gut-emptying episode just a little bit ago. I'm wondering if the milk was a little off, even though it had been in the freezer since I pumped it. I guess we'll never know.

I was going to say something earlier this week about Gak's week. It's been long. It's been busy. The girls working with him haven't been very helpful at all. So, he's a little cranky, but it'll pass. He tries very hard not to be cranky at home, but he's tired. It's OK because I know there are many days that I'm a total bear to live with. But, he'll be back to his "normal" schedule starting Saturday. That'll be nice as will the pay check.

I guess I'd better wrap this up so I can do a few other things before I crash and get some sleep. I hope Boo decides to sleep more than a few hours at a shot tonight.

Peace to all and may your messes be few, far between and small.

Swinging Babies!

He likes it! He really likes it!
The swing that is.
The other day I had a brainstorm of why he might not like the swing when talking with another couple at the portrait studio. They said their daughter hated the swing they had that was too upright, but loved the reclining one. Well, with Boo, it's just the opposite. This boy just doesn't like being on his back unless he's nursing or sleeping (almost asleep will do too...). Therefore, yesterday I tried putting the seat back up more like the angle on his bouncy seat or his car seat. Bingo! He was a little unsure at first, but within about 3 minutes was asleep. He stayed that way for well over an hour.
This wasn't a one shot deal either. He enjoyed time in the swing a few times yesterday and again today. I like the fact that he enjoys the swing, but I think I may just have to move it into the other room. When he starts to wake and is a little fussy, I can't hear or see him if I'm in another room. If I don't see him when he's waking, then I don't know he wants me until he's really upset that no one is there and he's wailing. I like to avoid that if possible. Oh well.
Yesterday was a good day overall. Gak has to work open to close this week because his boss is on vacation again. That makes for a week of very long days, but a good paycheck. The biggest problem is the girls that are working with him. Or not working as the case may be.
Well, as much as I'd love to post a bit more about this, I think my son is waking and needs a snuggle and a snack.
Peace to all and may your coworkers be good and your swings fun.

Weekend Adventures

This weekend has actually turned out to be a good one. Friday was much better than the rest of the week, even though it was too hot to do anything.

Boo and I finally got out of the house. I dropped Gak off at work and since Boo was sleeping, I decided to go somewhere for a bit. Where I ended up was BabysRUs. I spent way too much money. Although, over half of what I spent was on consumables... that is diapers, bottle liners and the like. I also got a new play mat, one by Boppy. I'm not sure how much Boo really likes it, but he doesn't hate it. That's a start. He howls within about 3 seconds of being put down on the other one, either on his belly or back. (He much prefers being on his belly, then he can push up and look around...) I think it's pretty cute and the mini Boppy pillow will come in handy for other things as well.

Saturday was a more or less uneventful day. We didn't do a whole lot other than laundry, but we did get a bit of play time in. I was feeling pretty good about that. I like it when Boo's in a good mood and wants to play. Don't get me wrong, I love snuggles, but play is really great.

After we picked up Gak from work we fiddled around a bit, went to Baja Fresh for dinner and came home. Overall, uneventful.

Actually, there was one really, really cool thing that happened yesterday. Aunt Abi got a job in Arizona! She flew out for the weekend for an interview. It went even better than she'd ever hoped for and she got offered the job with an extra 2K a year than the original offer! She took it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately for me, this means she'll be moving out to Phoenix in a couple of weeks. But... I really think this is the best thing that could happen to her. This is just the break she needs. This will get her away from all her ghosts in New England, and trust me, there are a bunch. This will be the brand new start in a new place that she needs. This will do wonders for her self esteem as well as everything else in her life. I'm sure within a few weeks of moving out there she'll have plenty of things to do and be meeting all kinds of really cool people. I'm so excited for her, even though it means she's moving 3/4 the way across the country. At least I've got somewhere to stay when we visit Arizona.

I wish her the most luck possible.

Today was a good day. Gramma Sue came up and we had some fun adventures. We went up to Saucon Valley for lunch at Red Robbin. That was yummy as always. The main reason we went up there is that we had a photo sitting for Boo at a portrait studio there. I spent more than I was planning on, but we got a ton of pictures for what we paid. I'm sure we would have paid at least twice that anywhere else, and not had anywhere near the number of pictures to choose from. I think she took about 60 shots. We ended up with 5 that we loved. There were several more that I wouldn't have minded getting copies of. We did get the CD (the picture at the top of this post is from the session today) so we can get more of whatever if we want to later. We might, but I doubt it. I've got more than I need and lots of people will be getting them in the mail, so watch your mailboxes... you may be getting a surprise from us.

He wasn't so sure about the adventure at first, but Boo really warmed up to it by the end. We got some really good ones.

Anyhow, my little 7-week old (gasp!) man is waking up and is probably very hungry. I'd best get this posted.

Peace to all and may your skies be bright and there be smiles in your life.

Bad Momma?

The second half of the week has been pretty uneventful. Just more of the same.
(One good news note though... I can finally fit in my pre-pregnancy shorts... and most of my shirts too!)
This weeks been a little tough on me though, and I'm not sure why. It just seems like a long week for some reason. Maybe it's because other than Boo's doctor appointment on Tuesday, we haven't really done anything or gone anywhere. That tends to make me a little gray around the edges. The last few days I just haven't felt like I've been the best Momma Boo could ask for.
I mean, I haven't done anything horible like leave him in the car, drop him on his head or anything like that. I just haven't been the most attentive, snuggly, interactive Momma. Not like I usually am at any rate. He hasn't been neglected, but not really engaged in the world around him so much.
Wednesday we had a good couple of hours though. He was awake and happy and we "played" for a good bit of time. That was nice. Yesterday however and the rest of Wednesday evening was filled with not quite naping and not quite feeding. I guess I was just having problems because Boo was having problems figuring out what he wanted or needed and letting me know.
The past few days he'll eat a little, but he's way more interested in trying to suck the skin off my little finger than eat. He'll fuss, I'll present him my finger to see if he wants to eat possibly, he'll be happilly sucking on it for a minute, so I'll offer a feed. Nope, doesn't want it. He'll take a sip or two and push me away. Don't get me wrong, he's deffinately eating enough... He'll have one or two really good feeds in a day, but the rest of the day do a grazing thing. Really frustrating for me, which I guess just makes me a little distant from time to time. I just get so tired of trying to guess.
It's really not all that bad. I love snuggling with him and spending as much time as possible with him, I'm just frustrated by his mixed signals. (Gee... sounds like I'm talking about an ex-boyfriend here...) Oh well. We'll get past this.
Oh, and remind me never, ever to tell the world that Boo may be starting to sleep through the night, even if he does it three nights in a row. The last several he's been back to his maybe 6-hour stretch followed by a couple of 2-4 hour stretches. Maybe there's a little sleep deprivation going on as well.
Eepp. Boo's waking up again. Gotta post as is.
Peace to all and may your skies be sunny.

Six-Week Checkup

Today was Boo's six-week checkup. My boy is growing like a weed! He's now 11.25 lb and 22.75 inches long! That puts him solidly in the 50-75% range for his age. (I have no idea why they give such a broad range... I guess because at this age there is so much variance in size?) He's put on almost exactly 3lb since his last appointment 4 weeks ago. I'm impressed. I knew he was growing quickly, but I guess I just didn't realize how quickly. I'm also impressed because this just goes to prove how well breastfeeding really does take off the pregnancy pounds. He's gained 3lb and I've lost all but 10 lb of my pregnancy weight in the last 4 weeks. Go team!
When the doctor put him on his tummy to check out his neck/head control, he promptly pushed up on his arms and was looking all around. Most babies don't do this until they're about 3 months old. He's been trying like crazy to do this for a long time. He'd much rather pick his head up and look around than just lie there. Once he starts crawling, I'm sure we won't be able to keep up at all.
His next appointment is on the 15th of August, which is right after I go back to work. I'm still dreading that... and not just because I'll be having to leave Boo for most of the day. I had a minor panic attack in the middle of the night because I realized that the guy who's leaving in 2 weeks is the one who was supposed to work with me when I got back on a project. He's pretty much the only one who knows the new reporting software from the EPA and I was supposed to do a training on it in early September. Now I have no clue what's up with that. I'm trying not to panic, but it's not working.
Oh well. Looks like it's time for me to drop Gak off at work so I can have the truck and run some errands. Of course, this means going over to Target for more baby related stuff. I should get used to this.
Peace to all and my everything go well.

More Work Woes

I've got to stop checking the work email. The last two times I have, more people have left the company. I was just down there on Wednesday. I found out that one of the other developers is trying to get a job within corporate, but in a different state (where he's from, so I don't blame him too much...). Well, today when I log in to the work email, I find out that two more developers have left or are leaving and that a project engineer also left. All to competitors. With the one guy retiring by the end of August, we're down to two in-house developers and a small team based out of India. (I like the Indian developers I've met, good and smart people.) Two of them are coming over for a bit starting tomorrow to learn as much as they can from the people who are leaving. I wish them the most luck.
It's not looking so good around the office. I keep talking to people and more and more of them are really beginning to panic. It is really feeling like "rats leaving a sinking ship" or as one guy liked to say, rearanging the deck chairs on the Titanic. I guess I've got to start pollishing up my 8-year-old resume... just in case.
Gak's thought is that they might consolidate us and move us down to another office. I hope not. I'll really need my resume then.
Well, Boo's awake again and calling for his Momma. Gonna post this as is, bad spelling and all.
Peace to all and may you have some certianty in your lives.

Long Weekend

Well, this has been a long weekend of fussiness. It really started Friday evening. Actually, not fussy all the time, but very fussy a some of the time and just not quite right a good portion of the rest.

Friday afternoon Boo just didn't want to eat or sleep much. He'd have a few swallows at a time and nap for about 45 minutes at a shot and just not be quite right when awake. Mind you, he did sleep a good 7 or 8 hours overnight, which did make me happy. It ended up taking a good bit of snuggling by Gak and Boo actually took the pacifier for the first time in about 5 weeks and only the third time ever that I can think of. (Of course, he only kept it long enough to truly fall asleep, and then he spit it out, but I don't care, he went to sleep. And that was one amazingly long run-on sentence...)

Yesterday was more of the same, but all day. Only this time he ate like a starving race horse. And wanted to eat all the time as well. About the time I went to go pick up Gak from work, I realized I didn't remember changing a poopy diaper that day and wasn't sure when the last one I changed on Friday was. There were plenty of wet, but no dirty that I could come up with. Hmm... this sounds like it could be the problem. You see, most days he's got at least 3 or 4 dirty, and some days every time he has a snack he also has a dirty diaper. Therefore, not being able to recall one in about 24 hours isn't normal for this little guy. There were two minerly dirty ones that evening, one just barely dirty and the other dirty, but no where near the normal volume for our little guy.

Today wasn't too bad. Again, Boo slept for about 8 or 9 hours overnight. I'm really thrilled by this prospect. (Although, I'd love to modify his schedule a bit... for when I go back to work. If he goes down by 9 and up by 6:30, then I can get some good baby time in the evenings and a little snuggle and feeding time in the morning. That would do wonders for me emotionally...)

We ran a few errands this morning. I was quite cranky with Gak at the grocery store for some reason. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I'd been up since 6 and was feeling the need for a nap. I hate when I'm cranky for no reason. It's not nice for anyone involved. A short while after we got home though, I knew (or at least hoped), our diaper issues had resolved themselves. Anyone who has changed a diaper will appreciate this... Boo had a 4-wipe diaper. It wasn't a total blow-out and all over his clothes or anything, but it could have been. He was a bit mellower the rest of the day, although still a bit fussy.

I did get some good pictures, like the one at the top, this afternoon. The few that I took earlier in the week just didn't turn out right. I really wish that the red-eye reduction flash worked... With his eyes so light, when I try and do an auto-fix in Photoshop, it ends up painting a very light color in his pupils and it makes him look like he's got cataracts or something. I've started fixing them manually, but my painting skills with a mouse leave quite a bit to be desired. Oh well.

I just realized I'm starting to ramble. I guess that means it's time for me to wrap this up. Sorry for all the poop talk this time, but that, or the lack thereof, has been on my mind most of the last day or two. But, everything seems to be working fine again.

I'm not really sure what's up for this week. GrammaSue won't be up tomorrow because she's going to Arlington for something for some friends of the family. I wish I could go, but Mom's right... it would be way too long of a day in the car for Boo. Oh well. She didn't come up today because it's my parents' anniversary. She will be up next Sunday, which is good, instead of Monday because of doctor's appointments and the like. Yes, it's hard to keep straight. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm off to find something low key to do for a bit... or feed my son, I'm not sure. He was snoozing when I started this, but a massive hiccup woke him up again (Gak went to go get him and change him). It would be nice if he stayed up another hour, but I'm not sure I can keep my own eyes open that long. (Yes, I did get a nap this morning/afternoon... but that seems like a long time ago now....)

Peace to all and may everything come out OK.... *grin*

Week Review

Well, I had my 6-week followup doctor visit this morning. All is looking good, I'm healing just fine. I don't have to go back until December for my annual checkup. It's so weird not to have to go back until then. I mean, I've been going there at least every four weeks or less since November.
Boo has his 6-week checkup on Tuesday. I'd gladly post pictures of him, but I've been a bad Momma this week and have only taken a few pictures and they're still on the camera. He's doing well. He's had a few big adventures this week. Tuesday we took Nana to the airport, Wednesday we went to work for the afternoon and Thursday he went with me down to the good yarn store and ran a few other errands as well with me. Last night we had dinner over at Kat's house and then went for a nice long walk "around the block". Chris, Dianne and Scott joined Gak, Kat, Zoe, Seamus and I. It was a good, if long evening.
Today while I was at the doctor he stayed home with his daddy. Uncle Allen stopped by this morning. This was the first Al had a chance to see the little guy. It was nice to get a chance to catch up with Al. He stayed until about 1 or 1:30. I've got to be better about keeping in touch with him. That and I can't wait until we can get his little girl together with Boo. It'll be fun.
Overall, it's been a slow news week here. It's been nice and quiet. We like it that way overall. I don't really have much else to say. I have no idea what all we're doing this weekend. Hopefully something fun. Maybe I'll even get more pictures of Boo!
Peace to all and may you have quiet weeks and good times.

By Nana and Hello Work?

Well, yesterday we got Nana off to the airport without any problems. She managed to get through security with no problems and made it through her plane change without a hitch and got home just fine. It was a good visit overall, but I think everyone was both glad and sad to see it come to an end. There's something to be said about sleeping in your own bed.
Today was my department meeting down at work.
Gak and I first stopped by the daycare with Boo to introduce him to the wonderful women who will be watching him four afternoons a week and introduce the place to him. He wasn't too sure when we first got to the infant/toddler room, but quickly warmed up to the women. He'll be just fine.
Me, on the other hand, will be a wreck.
I trust these women totally and completely. The kids there all seem happy and well cared for and they were so excited to meet Boo. I think the big thing is that other than a few hour stretches, he's been with me non-stop since oh... last September in one way or another. It'll be hard to be away from him, but it will be good too. (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself...) I do enjoy my work and my coworkers, I just enjoy my son even more.
Anyhow, after saying good-bye to the nice ladies and dropping Gak off at his office, Boo and I headed down to my office. We got there just in time for lunch. I hadn't checked my email since last Saturday and it turns out that they were having a Q1 wrapup meeting and lunch. I'd eaten already with Gak before leaving the house, but who am I to turn down a pig roast? Everyone thought Boo was the sweetest and cutest little boy. Ellen actually was able to hold him for about 5 or 10 minutes while I got myself a small plate and scarfed it down. He was just checking everything out and being pretty mellow. Of course, once we got back to my desk, he decided he was both hungry and messy. This was easy to take care of because I was smart and brought a couple of bottles with me for just this reason... and I'm getting very good at remembering to not only leave the house with the diaper bag, but keep it stocked too!
The real interesting part of the day was the meeting. It took the full hour that we had scheduled. So, here's the scoop in a nutshell. My friend Bill is "acting" manager. He doesn't want the position long term. He's currently being pulled in at least two directions with the service work and with the regulatory work. (Not to mention it's a reporting month which really makes things fun.... NOT!) They've made offers to two temps, one of whom has said yes and will be starting soon, they're still waiting to hear from the other. We're still not sure exactly where I stand, since "officially" according to all the paperwork the company has, I'm not really part of that group, but still within service as Training Manager. The only real problem is the fact that I'm salaried Exempt and everyone else is Non-Exempt. Oh well, that'll get sorted out in the long run. The guy who used to run engineering, and is now an engineering "consultant" may become the temporary manager and there's a rumor floating about that there's one of the engineers who might possibly be interested in applying for the position. The real push with training is to hold more here, possibly every other month, instead of every quarter. I put together a brainstorm of an idea and Bill seemed to like it. We'll play with it some more once I get back so we can implement it for 2009. The big thing is, we really can't afford people to travel like I was. (Both in money and time... we just don't make enough off of these trips...) That and we need to get engineering to pick up doing the startup training, which was a huge portion of my travel. We were polled for ideas on how to make things run smoother because, for the most part, Bill's got free reign and now is the time to make changes and get things the way we want. (Bill already gave the guy in charge more than an earful about the "new" call tracking system we're using...)
So, the long and the short of it is: we're in a state of flux, but we have the ears of those in charge and might actually come out ahead in the long run. It'll be a chaotic several months, but we'll all survive.
Of course, being the brain-dead Momma that I am, I totally forgot to bring my camera to take pictures of Boo at my work. He was very good almost all afternoon. He got a little fussy around 3:45 and I gave him his second (small) bottle. That wasn't quite enough to keep him happy though. I left at about 4:30 and headed home. I'm still so totally amazed at how mellow and sweet a little guy my Boo is. He really is such a joy to take places and be with. Like I've said, I'm going to have a very hard time returning... but I don't have a choice so I'll do what I have to do.
That's about all the news for now. Boo keeps growing and changing and it's so wonderful to watch. He's actually tracking things from time to time, if he's interested. He's doing really well at holding his head up and if you sit him up, he'll try his hardest to hold it for as long as possible. He can't quite track with his head yet, that control is a bit wobbly yet. I'm sure he'll master that skill way too soon. (I love having my little snuggle bug of a baby and I'm afraid that I'll blink and he'll be a toddler or graduating high school or something absurd like that! I don't want to miss a second of this.)
Anyway, I'm going to go pick up a crochet hook or a book for a bit before sacking out. Boo fell asleep around 8, so that means he'll be up by 2 at the latest more than likely. (I'm actually hoping he wakes up around midnight and then sleeps until 5 or 6... but with the full day he's had, I doubt he'll be up that soon. Oh well...)
Peace to all and may there be a little order to your chaos.

Hecitc Fourth...

This weekend was quite full and quite hectic. This picture was taken Sunday at the "Welcome Boo" party.

Friday was the Fourth. It was a calm holiday. We went down to my parents and just had an enjoyable afternoon. We went over to their gallery on the way down, so that Nana could see the business. We didn't get to go see any fireworks because it was raining. That, and it was late enough that we decided we should probably head home anyhow. We did see a few go off on our way back, which was pretty neat.

Saturday was a full day. I did laundry. Boo did very well for most of the time riding in his pouch. He really does like it there. The biggest problem, for both of us, was that it was very warm and sticky.

When we got home, I promptly stripped Boo to his diaper, changed him and powdered him and gave him lunch. I also ditched my hot, sweaty shirt in an attempt to cool off. Shortly thereafter Scott stopped by. Luckily we were in Boo's room so Scott's sensibilities weren't offended. (I didn't care, I was hot, sticky and needed to feed my son....)

Michelle and Abi also got there right as I was finishing feeding Boo. It was really great to see both of them. I hadn't seen either of them since the shower. I am still impressed that Abi came all the way down from RI just for the weekend. Abi brought me the coolest T-shirt. It's a momma dragon feeding a knight in armor to her baby. It's really cute. Oh, and parts of it glow! Michelle brought up all kinds of neat stuff, the best being the quilt that she made Boo. Of course, I haven't had a chance to get a picture of it, so you'll just have to wait. It's very bright and colorful and has dragons on it! It's so great, and I'm sure he'll get plenty of great use out of it.

After the girls got here, and snuggled the boy for a few, we went and got lunch at Red Robin. We also made a quick Target run before heading over to Kat's to help get stuff set up for Sunday's party. I wasn't much help because I had a boy strapped to me. There was a bit of scrubbing and moving of chairs and tables. Scott and Gak also created a horseshoe pit and did a beer run.

Sunday's party was quite fun. Mom made these fabulous cupcakes instead of a cake. Can you tell she had a bit of fun with it?

As you can see, Boo got lots of snuggle time with lots of people. There were more, but you'll have to go over to the Flickr to see them. Unfortunately, Abi had to go home Sunday morning because her back was bothering her so much, she could hardly move. We really missed her, but it was more important that she make it home safely. And also, being the bad Momma that I am, I didn't get any pictures of all her snuggle time with the boy on Saturday. I really do have to remember to take more pictures. (Of course, Boo's so cute... it's hard not to take pictures of him when I'm thinking about it...)

It was a long day. We probably stayed about an hour or so longer than we should have. It was hard getting Boo settled for the night, but once he did, he slept for about 5 hours. That was nice for me and Gak. It was really good to see everyone. Not everyone showed up who we thought would, but it was a good group that did show up. It was nice and low key. The weather was perfect. It didn't get too hot and it was nice and dry. The sun even came out for a bit.

Oh, and Boo is official. Just over a week ago now, we got his birth certificate from the state! So, according to them, we now have a son. (We'd known this for a while...) He's also official with the U.S. Social Security office. I think it was just under a week after we got the birth certificate, we got Boo's Social Security card. I wasn't expecting that until after I returned to work. For once, things actually moved quickly.

Anyhow, I'd better wrap this up soon. I think Boo's going to wake up soon hungry. He's had a bit of a fussy day, but I don't blame him. It was a full weekend and a long day yesterday. He was over tired by the end of it all and so now, all is not quite right in his little world and he's not quite sure what to do about it. I'll live with fussy for a day or so. He was great through the entire weekend and we all had fun.

Peace to all and may your holiday have been filled with family and fun and may good days lay ahead.

What Happened?

First off, no new pictures of Boo from yesterday. It was just a mellow day and no real camera opportunities.
I did finally get an electric pump... and really like it. I got the Medela Swing. It works great, is nice and small and quiet. Makes me happy. (The manual pump they'd given me at the hospital lost suction for some reason and no matter how much I fiddled with the seal, I couldn't get it back... that and I need an electric since I'll be pumping daily while at work...)

I don't check my work email for a week and all hell breaks loose it seems! One of the first messages I get is about my one boss leaving. Huh?? What's the story? Well, after about 4 different conversations over our instant messager I find out that about 13 or so people are leaving by the end of the month. The head of the software service group (one of my bosses) left for a competitor at the end of last week. A long-time programmer also left for one of two competitors, he hadn't decided when he turned in his resignation. Five people got layed off (one of whom really surprises me, the others not so much and one of which I'm downright glad is gone...) There are three people retiring by the end of August at the latest. My other boss, the one in charge of all of service, took a new job down in Atlanta.
What the heck is going on around here?? I mean, that makes about 15 people just since the beginning of the year that's left... maybe a few more.
Of course, my biggest question is: who the heck is my boss and what, exactly is my job now. Oh, and what in the world are we doing about training??
It looks like that my friend Bill is acting leader for the software support group. (Bert was right all those years ago... Bill did get his job... but I'm not sure he really wanted it...) No one has any idea where things stand with training, especially me. What was already a chaotic situation is now even more messy.
I was going to go down to the office next week for a few to show off Boo, but now we're going down and will probably end up spending the entire afternoon there on Wednesday. I know Bill is looking to have a meeting with everyone while I'm there and I told Julie I'd have some time to talk with her about some training things she wants to do. (She's now product leader for the software.) It should be an interesting visit. I hope Boo's having a good day. Although, if not, it'll give me an excuse to escape. Just so long as I don't run screaming, everything will be OK.

Well, that's about all I have to say today. Yesterday was a pretty calm day all told (other than an interesting few hours last night...) Today should be another mellow day. Tonight we're going for a walk with some of our friends, so that should be good.

Peace to all and may life not go chaotic when you don't look....

One Month Old!

Boo is one month old today! Amazing how time flies. I took this picture at lunch today. Bob and Linda came over and brought us lunch. It was really good to see them. Unfortunately, they won't be able to come to the party Sunday. I wish they'd be there. I like them and they're good people.
It's amazing. It's only been a month, yet it seems like it's always been this way. I'm having a very hard time remembering what it was like to not be a momma of such a wonderful little boy. I really wouldn't trade this for anything.
I know I had a lot to say, but I was interrupted by an awake baby who wanted some food and snuggle time.
I think I was going to finish recapping the weekend that I started to on Saturday.
Ok. I'll start there then.
I think I described Saturday as an odd day and just left it at that. I think that's where I'll leave it. It wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't one of the best either.
Sunday was a good day over all. We did this and that and I tried to get a little more organized for Sunday. (I'm still not as organized as I'd like, but Kat and I are pretty good at winging these things anyhow...) We did go over to the QMart again and I ordered hot dogs, hamburgers and sausage for next week. I just have to remember to pick it up on our way over. (Not like it's out of the way or anything... I just have to remember to go that way instead of the "usual" way I take to get over to Kat's.) I found out that both Michelle and Abi will be in town. I'm so excited. I haven't seen either of them since the baby shower. I'm glad they're willing to come all this way to see us. (I've also come to the conclusion that I doubt Gak or I will get to hold Boo much on Sunday... I guess that's one advantage of breast feeding... I'll have to take him from time to time. Especially if I only pack one or two bottles...)
Yesterday Nana, Boo and I went down to Gramma Sue's. It was a good day. Actually, the day started out really, really well. Boo had gone to sleep around 9 on Sunday and didn't wake again until about 4 on Monday morning. Hopefully we'll see a few more nights like that now and again and with more regularity soon.
We went out for lunch and visited Trader Joe's. I so wish there was one closer to where I live than the one near Mom's. They've got very good, and good quality stuff for much better prices than you could get at the "regular" store. That and it's all preservative/funky chemical free. I'd gladly pay more for something of that quality. We also went over to Valley Forge for a little while. We took Nana over to the Visitor Center and poked around there for a bit and watched the video. By that time, Boo was hungry again and I didn't have a good way to warm up the bottle I had with me. Therefore, we went back to the house. Nana and I had dinner there with Gramma Sue and Pop Pop Mike. (Or maybe it's just Pop Pop... I guess we'll have to wait until Boo starts talking to see what he ends up being called...)
Of course, our dinner and Boo's dinner decided to coincide. There was a little interesting juggling on my part, but everyone got fed with a minimum of crying on any one's part.
Of course, because Boo slept a good bit during the day in the car and the like, he didn't have such a good night. I guess that's partially my fault because I really didn't try and keep him up during the day. But that doesn't always work anyhow.
Today is going well though, now that we've gotten over the morning crankies. Like I said, Bob and Linda brought us lunch and it was good. They haven't had a chance to see him since he was mere hours old when they came by the hospital. I was glad to see them then, and it was good to see them again today. We've really got to get together more often. I mean, they live all of what, a mile or so from Kat? Part of the problem is the fact that I was traveling so much the last few years for work and they were traveling a lot with their trailer. Now that gas prices are so high, they'll probably be staying home a bit more often. Which means we might actually get to have dinner together on occasion or the like. I hope so.
I had my regularly scheduled doctor's appointment for my asthma/allergies. Basically we're going to just keep an eye on things for now while I'm breast feeding, but if I need to, take my meds. My doctor was very happy to see Boo and was happy to see how well I'm doing. I've lost about 20 of the 35 lb I put on while pregnant with Boo. (Of course, I lost quite a bit of that quite quickly when I delivered an 8lb, healthy baby boy!) Hopefully I'll be able to put a big dent in the last 15 or so over the next several weeks. I may even be able to wear my "normal" pants back to work. (I'm not holding my breath, but I can hope... the pants I was wearing during the last several months are getting a little silly looking...)
Anyhow, I guess I'd better wrap this up. I think I'm going to take Boo on a little walk to the bank and around the block a bit... then I really should check the work email, I'm sure I've got close to 100 messages piled up there over the past week.
Peace to all and may the good days outnumber the bad.