Hectic

It has been a hectic few days around here. I've been meaning to post since Sunday, but just haven't gotten there.

Friday was somewhat of a cranky day. More of the same cranky-ness really. It turned out OK in the end though. We went over to Kat's to play Killer Bunnies. None of us were really in a good mood. Well, maybe Zoe was. It didn't help that we'd all had long weeks and Kat's got an abscessed tooth that's causing her a lot of grief and pain right now. She's trying to take care of it, but....

Saturday was almost a do-nothing day for me. The only thing productive I got done was the grocery shopping. I played online for a while, but wasn't getting very far. I moped around the house quite a bit. I've really, really got to get this place clean though. It's been waaaay too long since I at least got everything almost put away and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom. (They're pretty clean mind you, but need a good deep cleaning now and again...)

We didn't do anything Saturday night because Sunday was the highlight (?) of the weekend. Several months ago we'd told Ed that we'd go with him and some others up to Pocono to watch the PA 500. I'm not a NASCAR fan in the slightest. I don't follow it, I don't even care that much. I don't even watch it if I happen to catch it like I do with other sports. (Despite the skill involved here, I sometimes have a hard time calling this a sport...) The reason I said I'd go, Ed asked. It was going to be a day out with friends. Well, about half the people who said they were going, backed out. That's OK. It was still nice to have a day with Ed, his dad and sister and a few others. Gak went. Gak really doesn't like racing or any sport. He came because he thought he should and to see if it was any better in real life than on the TV. (To me it is, but then again, I really get a kick out of seeing/hearing that many fast engines light up... weird I know...) He got majorly burned on his neck. (I didn't nag him about sunscreen figuring he's a big boy and can take care of him self. He usually does...) About halfway through the race he wasn't feeling too good from the sun and retreated to the car.

The race itself was pretty good. There were a few interesting messes and several caution flags. We had good seats, right near start/finish and could see most of the track. Admittedly, the cars on the far side were pretty tiny, but you could see what was happening. We also ended up sitting right across Ed's favorite driver's pit area. He was thrilled. I enjoy watching the pit stops. Talk about a coordinated effort. The weather was also beautiful. It was quite warm, but not too humid and there was a nice breeze. It was a nice day to spend outside with friends. Admittedly, the roaring engines did make it a little hard to talk, but we enjoyed ourselves.

Monday and yesterday were more of the same at work. As much as I am beginning to not like the travel aspect, it is nicer to be out of the office than in it these days. As soon as you walk in the door you're hit with a huge wave of negativity and all anyone does is grumble and complain. I mean, that goes on a lot at many work places, but that's all that goes on here. I haven't heard a positive thing said that's work related in the office in probably about a year. Morale stinks and it's not getting any better. Management hasn't done anything to fix it, if anything, they're making it worse. My boss tries, but his boss and higher up just doesn't give him what he needs most of the time. Other bosses just don't understand our business and most aren't even located in the same office, or state for that matter. (I think this is what has been causing a lot of the angst in the building. It reminds me very much of when we had a remote office and were trying to do projects from both. Not good.)

I hope it gets better, I truly do. I like most of the people I work with and I think we've got a kick-butt product out there. I don't want to see this ruined by, as my one friend says, the "slum lord" approach to management. That's really what it feels like around here these days. That and like we're a bunch of mushrooms.

Oh well. Maybe I really should look into moving on, and out of this corporation, not just this office. Don't get me wrong, it's a good company I work for, but I just don't know if I'm cut out for the corporate world. But then, I'd have to figure out exactly what it is I do want to be doing. I haven't a clue. I honestly, truly don't have a clue. I enjoy the training. I'd even enjoy the travel if it was once a month. Then it would be a nice change of pace, not the every-day drudgery it's become. I don't really want to leave the area, I've got too many friends and family here. I feel bad for taking Gak away from OK, but most of his friends there have dispersed a bit. Gak likes it around here. I don't think he loves it, but he's got more friends now and more things to do other than work and home.

I really didn't mean to turn this into a rambling rant about work and the fact that I know deep-down I need to move on, but can't. I can't turn this program over to someone who's just going to ruin it. I can't turn it over to someone who doesn't know the product or at the very least the regs. I feel guilty and that I wouldn't be doing the customers any favors. I admit, I know fewer and fewer of them very well. But after 4.5 years in the service group, it's hard to turn over something like this to an outsider. No one in-house wants the job, so therefore it would be some corporate person. I guess I just care too much. I need to spend more of that energy caring for Gak and myself.

OK. Enough already! I know you don't need to hear my internal ramblings and worryings. You're here to see how I'm doing and where I am.

Peace to you all and may you have some inner peace as well.