Looser

Well,it's official.  I'm a looser.  The biggest looser to be exact.
You see, my company did a third round of our Biggest Looser contest.  And, I somehow managed to win this round.  I lost the most weight, by percentage (and actual pounds even) in the last 12 weeks.
I know I haven't talked about this much other than hints here and there.  In reality, this is a journey I started on just shy of a year ago, when the first round of our Biggest Looser contest started.  The whole reason I joined was because J didn't want to be the only woman in the contest.  I knew I had some to loose, and so, why not? 
Boy did I get a shocker when I stepped onto the scale that day.  My heart dropped.  I Had managed to loose all of my pregnancy weight by the time Boo was 6 months old.  In the next 9 months I managed to put 15 lb of that back on, without even realizing it.  It was at that point I accepted that there was a problem.
My goal for that round was to not come in last.  I managed to finish in the middle of the pack, loosing 6 lb of the 15 I'd put back on.  Not great, but it was a start.  We wrapped that one up just in time for Thanksgiving and the holidays, and I managed to not put all of that weight back on in the next 6 weeks.  I did put 3 lb back on though.
The next round started in January, right in time for New Year's resolutions.  Well, the one big goal I made this year was to eat healthier.  Vague, but there was tons of room for improvement in my diet, and still is to some extent.  My goal for this round was to finish in the top half.  I held second place for most of it, until the last week when I dropped to 3rd with a 1 lb gain.
It was the middle of January when I realized that my playing around wasn't going to get me anywhere.  This is when I truly became committed to loosing the weight, to get back below that accursed 200 lb mark (which I finally have) and maybe, just maybe go beyond that and get down to where I was when I graduated college.  That goal, while still a good ways off, is 51 lb closer than it was that day back last September when I stepped on the scale.  In the last 8 months I've lost 20% of my starting body weight.
And, it's kind of strange to admit, but it's been almost easy for most of this journey.  The last few weeks have been very tough mentally to keep on track, and it's shown on the scales.  But, I have to admit, it only seems easy.  It seems easy because I had a partner and a challenge.  The contest, and the $180+ pot that would go to the winner, was the incentive and the challenge that kept me focused.  The partner was my Weight Watcher Online tools.  Yep, that's right, I went with the tried and true.  The biggest thing the plan has done for me is made me accountable.  It made me stop and look at exactly what I'm putting into my mouth.  Forget the exercise portion, I've barely touched that and have huge amounts of room to improve there.  I've reminded myself that I do feel full on smaller portions and what a real portion is.  I've relearned how much I love fruit and how to use fruit and other good things like that to stretch out the yummy, but not so healthy choices that I still love, and can still eat.
I've done this all online without going to a single meeting, and barely talking to a single person.  I've recently explored a little on the "Community" side of the site, and it could be interesting.  I know that some people need these things.  I know some people wouldn't be able to do this without any support or help.  To me this is a very personal, and private journey.  Some people have asked me what Gak says.  He doesn't say much and some are shocked by that.  But, it really doesn't bother me that he doesn't say "wow, you've lost so much weight!" and is all happy and cheerful for me.  I know he loves me at any size.  I like to think he understands that this is a private journey with me and my body and my spirit.  I know he supports me and is happy for me, I don't need him telling me that every five minutes or every five lb.  I've got a bit longer to go on this journey, and a life time to live it.
This is probably the last I'll mention of this journey.  Like I said, it's a deeply private thing for me.  This can only come from me, for me, no one else can do it or have much influence over it.

Anyhow, I'm treating myself to a new point-and-shoot camera with my well earned monies.  I know, I should go and treat myself to clothes, but that won't make me anywhere near as happy as a new camera that I don't have to hold the battery door on with a rubber band will.  I'd love a DSLR, but that's not in the budget even with my winnings.  Besides, my most common photo subject is my very active toddler, and they don't always play well with a camera that can go fully manual (not to mention are a little more dangerous to leave within his reach...).

So, I'm off to pick up my son, take him to the library (he probably wants to play with the trains there, he's really into trains right now) and go play with some cameras and hopefully buy one.

Peace to all and may your personal journeys be fulfilling.